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View Full Version : so, is free love dead?



Elliott
19-11--2005, 03:12 AM
im guessing that free love is dead with all the deseases that go around, if only people were more carefull in the first place. never been to one myself but it would be interesting

any thoughts?

The Original Laney
19-11--2005, 09:12 AM
WOuld be interesting indeed!!


But I don't think I'd wanna do it!!

Of course unless it was following Rock Stars and making them happpy ;) then that's another story!!

TREASON
19-11--2005, 11:18 AM
i dont see the appeal myself. i think its cheap

Elliott
19-11--2005, 01:35 PM
not sure how id feel given the situation. im just really curious to find out what the attitude is behind it all. if it is how treason puts it 'cheap' or if there is actually more to it than that. i judt dont think that people that lived the life of a hippies in standing up for what they believe and being deep thinkers outside the box would just be 'Cheap'. otherwise they would all just be consumers of the times and not protesters. wouldn't you agree?

Firinne
19-11--2005, 01:38 PM
I don't think it'd be cheap if it's done in a spirit of openness and sharing, but of course there's always going to be that one person who just wants to get laid ...

Elliott
19-11--2005, 01:48 PM
lol, those people just need some understanding though, bless em. lol i copletly agree though.

Firinne
19-11--2005, 01:51 PM
I think if you're looking on anything as a spiritual experience you need to be sure everyone involved shares the same ideal, otherwise like any exchange it's destined to be unbalanced. I'd keep any of the shag happy chavs at bay with a spiritual workshop ... nothing scares off the shallow like some grass roots spirituality ;)

Elliott
19-11--2005, 02:42 PM
I think if you're looking on anything as a spiritual experience you need to be sure everyone involved shares the same ideal, otherwise like any exchange it's destined to be unbalanced. I'd keep any of the shag happy chavs at bay with a spiritual workshop ... nothing scares off the shallow like some grass roots spirituality ;)

lol thats brilliant !!!!!!!! lol

TREASON
19-11--2005, 02:42 PM
if it is how treason puts it 'cheap' or if there is actually more to it than that. i just dont think that people that lived the life in standing up for what they believe and being deep thinkers outside the box would just be 'Cheap'. otherwise they would all just be consumers of the times and not protesters. wouldn't you agree?

if it was a collective of people, who all had the same ethos then i can see it been quite good, moving between people and all gettin it on in whatever way you want to, im sure its still goin on. like matey says though, not everyones gonna be in it for the right reasons and that would fuck it up.
i can see the appeal, but i think its for cetain people, for people who like the single lifestyle, but want summin more real then just cheap meaningless sex. a few years ago i might have been into the idea more, but fucking about with numerous partners, weather spiritual or sexual or both aint for me
i dont think been a deep thinker outside the box and standin up for what ya belives in means someone still wouldnt just be into cheap meaningless sex.
ive always been a deep thinker, but ive still had meaningless sex.

but then again, now i think about it, if theres loads of sexy girls and you think youd love to connect with all of them, fair play.
but no, not for me.

maybe people should get a free love forum meet goin on :whistle:

TREASON
19-11--2005, 02:46 PM
i dont think the spiritual workshop will scare everyone off though, theres still gonna be spiritual people who will still be up for fucking a sexy girl under that pretence. i bet theres alot of pagans with that goin on.

Firinne
19-11--2005, 03:09 PM
i dont think the spiritual workshop will scare everyone off though, theres still gonna be spiritual people who will still be up for fucking a sexy girl under that pretence. i bet theres alot of pagans with that goin on.
Yup, there are - but it's generally more attached to Wicca and I doubt there'd be a Wiccan in sight at any workshop I run. I have a tendency when asked my thoughts on Wicca to say it'd be useful if it made more comfortable chairs :reddevil:

Elliott
19-11--2005, 03:59 PM
i dont think been a deep thinker outside the box and standin up for what ya belives in means someone still wouldnt just be into cheap meaningless sex.
ive always been a deep thinker, but ive still had meaningless sex.


i think if you come across someone that feels that way(no pun intended lol) then its so easy to tell. you can see it in their eyes. you can't fake something like that.

so how come you would have a while ago but not now, what has changed your mind?

Atomik
19-11--2005, 04:18 PM
not sure how id feel given the situation. im just really curious to find out what the attitude is behind it all.My cynical view would be that the 'attitude' is that of immature people who're unable to form adult, sexual relationships, looking instead for satisfaction in a cheap fantasy which they use to satisfy the emotional void that lies at the centre of their lives ;)


i judt dont think that people that lived the life of a hippies in standing up for what they believe and being deep thinkers outside the box would just be 'Cheap'.Ummm.... woah. All walks of life attract ass holes. Just because people gravitate towards the counter-culture, it doesn't mean that they're necessarily any more sincere of well-motivated than anyone else. Just because someone's part of a 'scene', no matter how progressive that scene is, doesn't mean they're not as capable of being as shallow and vacuous as any other member of society.

I've always thought the idea of 'free love' was one of the 60s ideals that was best left in the past. It just doesn't work.

Elliott
19-11--2005, 04:49 PM
all valid points but i do feel there is another side to the coin. some people are indeed as you describe but there are also genuine people that for them and for me has nothing to do with an kind of void. it is such a shame that for some people this doesn't work but for some it does. the only way we can possible know for sure is being in the experience. i personally have no doubt in my mind that given pure intentions that it can be a great and amazing thing to explore.

Elliott
19-11--2005, 04:49 PM
but i guess its not for everyone...

Atomik
19-11--2005, 04:56 PM
all valid points but i do feel there is another side to the coin. some people are indeed as you describe but there are also genuine people that for them and for me has nothing to do with an kind of void.Yeah, sure. I expect that's why 99% of the time it's men who're promoting 'free love' :whistle:

TREASON
19-11--2005, 05:02 PM
i think if you come across someone that feels that way(no pun intended lol) then its so easy to tell. you can see it in their eyes. you can't fake something like that.

nah man, i don think its easy to tell, well you might, but someone can still belive the spiritual side of it, but still be there for sex. i think i understand blokes pretty well, ive studied them as well as myself, i know not all men, but the majority of them when it comes to sex are a pretty sad race.



so how come you would have a while ago but not now, what has changed your mind?

cus i like meaningful sex, not empty crap sex, and when i wasnt into having a girlfriend fulltime, thats a way of life i could have led quite happily, meaningful free sex of what ever nature. although i dont see why its called free love cus unless your in a closed group of very switched on people i dont see how love could develop in a sexual free for all. ive grown past that stage of my life when i wanna just be exploring loads of people though. not cus its any better, but for me i prefer a union with someone at this point in my life. once upon a time i prefered been single because you could see who you wanted. now i prefer been single cus untill i meet a partner id rather not bother. but sayin that, sometimes you connect with someone on a sexual level thats worth exploring even if its not gonna end in love.


i wanna explore tantric now i think.

Elliott
20-11--2005, 01:35 AM
i guess we have pretty diferent views on the subject. lol

Joel
21-11--2005, 07:27 PM
hope not! :D:D:D:reddevil::reddevil:

Dandy
21-11--2005, 08:33 PM
i think its not a case of it beeing dead.. because in a sense theres plenty of free love going round.. if your looking at it in the sense of sex. people go out almost every night looking for a one night stand.. thats a more seedy way of looking at free love.. then theres open relationships or causual ones.. theres plenty of free love out there its jsut been give fancier names

TREASON
21-11--2005, 09:07 PM
thats not actually love though is it?

Joel
21-11--2005, 09:11 PM
nah, to be honset free love is just "sleeping around" now...so make of that what you will

was it ever free love tho?

its just sex with a random...happens every day all over the world

TREASON
21-11--2005, 09:12 PM
its a drug thing.

Elliott
21-11--2005, 09:20 PM
i guess there are a lot of different views on what free love is. i dont think it is just having sex with random people like people do today because i my eyes free love has that element of getting to know someone in a loving way. people that go out today dont see the people they sleep with after the event and if they do the cant even look at them half the time. if you exerience love then why would you find it hard to look those people in the eye?

Dandy
22-11--2005, 12:26 AM
read about free love properly and i think your view will change.. it was just an excuse to fuck a lot of people but given a more meaninful name.. i think its be romantised as it ggets fruther away in history.. like a lot of things its remembered for the good not the bad.. and its rememebered for how people wanted you to see it, not nesicarily how it was.

Dapablo
22-11--2005, 01:27 AM
Aye to love the world and attempt to love everyone in it is a noble concept. This will encourage the belief that sexual love can be proclaimed the same, again it is a noble concept, why shouldn't we all be free to love each other with open hearts ?

While we are free to contemplate our love of the world all concepts are available, when you have to feed and clothe the offspring and the mother, time for contemplation disappears as does the nobility, well perhaps not all of it. :)

ecomamma
23-11--2005, 01:56 PM
Aye to love the world and attempt to love everyone in it is a noble concept. This will encourage the belief that sexual love can be proclaimed the same, again it is a noble concept, why shouldn't we all be free to love each other with open hearts ?

While we are free to contemplate our love of the world all concepts are available, when you have to feed and clothe the offspring and the mother, time for contemplation disappears as does the nobility, well perhaps not all of it. :)

:rolleyes:

there is no such thing as 'FREE LOVE' it comes with some attachment...or maybe thats just the way I see it...cause Ive never done it!

TREASON
23-11--2005, 02:04 PM
if there is one thing i have learnt in all my life as a travelling musician,
it is that love is never free.
it makes a mockery of humanity the things men will do for them 1 n a half minutes of pleasure.

prehaps the moon knows the secret of the new sound.:p

Chegzy
23-11--2005, 02:13 PM
i reckon it would be an experience if done safely, but at the same time i think the way it was portrayed in the 60s made it seem spiritual, i think it would feel dirty in a bad way and probs wouldnt go smoothly

Peace-Phoenix
23-11--2005, 02:28 PM
I heard some old hippies saying in a documentary that they used to think what they were practicing was free love, but in reality it was free sex. I'm sure free love does exist, but it's rare. It's possible to take a universal approach to love, but love is very rarely free. Love is about give and take, compromise, restriction and rewards. It would be very hard to be polyamorous and actually love two people exactly the same I think....

TREASON
23-11--2005, 02:32 PM
maybe its cus peoples heads were pretty closed in them days, and as youth culture opened theres and realised they could do what they wanted, they realised they could fuck who they wanted to, with out been branded a harlet or what ever, so at the time it was summin important and that created a special vibe in what people were doin. it was a label for for removing boundys of what sociaty had put on people. sound brill, wish i could have been there.

Atomik
23-11--2005, 02:45 PM
Love is about give and take, compromise, restriction and rewards. It would be very hard to be polyamorous and actually love two people exactly the same I think....Agreed. I also think love is about commitment and responsibility.... two ideas that are incompatible with the notion of free love, IMHO.

Chazz
27-11--2005, 02:43 PM
In the sixties, free love was surely a liberating and rebellious stance.
But it never seemed like most people's thing.
In the seventies festivals it still seemed to exist but as an undercurrent mainly.
And that's how it still seems to be now, something that only suits a few people.

I've never been in a relationship where free love was truly free love i.e. wihout emotional problems. But I have had partners where 'love-ins' have been wonderful.

In other words, before my current partner, I've been in situations where we have shared with other people. One of my strongest memories is of the warmth and the suprising feeling of liberation to feel affectionate and lustful contact from more than just one person. My partner and I knew we were a couple before, during and afterwards. Both of us enjoyed the multiple stimulation and it certainly made for memorable experiences, not only erotically but also for the warmth of the contact and the latter is the most enduring memory and has increased my empathy with other people.

TREASON
27-11--2005, 07:24 PM
is it true that the hippies buried hippyism at the end of the era, its in a coffin in the ground somewhere.

phil
07-12--2005, 03:53 PM
I dont think the workshops will stop the shag happy. A mate of mine went line dancin with a girl just so he'd get laid......line dancin for f###s sake. no amount of sex can be worth that. and no it wasn't me honest :wiggle:

Firinne
07-12--2005, 04:01 PM
I dont think the workshops will stop the shag happy. A mate of mine went line dancin with a girl just so he'd get laid......line dancin for f###s sake. no amount of sex can be worth that. and no it wasn't me honest :wiggle:

Line dancing? My lord, the things people will do ...

At least your right hand doesn't try to force you into gingham! :rolleyes:

stormypagan
07-12--2005, 10:10 PM
Are we talking Love or sex, open relationships, non-sexual love, 60's/70's hippi love??

Ok my interpretation of the original question. In general I go the monogamy route. I tried the shag buddies thing with an ex, after we decided we couldn't be in a relationship but my emotions were too tied up for it to be successful and I got hurt more than anything!! So that stopped thankfully as it wasn't really me, I think I was grasping at straws on that one.

If you are truly in love with someone I don't think you could go anywhere else for love and affection... it just doesn't make sense to me!! Each to their own but personally I prefer to be with one person. I would hate the thought of them with someone else!!

At the end of the day if two consenting adults have decided upon having an open relationship then fine!! but if one is doing it behind the others back that is just cheating. I know I am not perfect but I learnt my lesson the hard way and would never go there again!!

Ideally unconditional love would be the best way, monogamous or open but I think human conditioning is far to evolved to be able to do that, as we can't help putting conditions on things to make us happy.

Chazz
07-12--2005, 11:31 PM
If you are truly in love with someone I don't think you could go anywhere else for love and affection

I so much agree. One of the greatest ideals that came out of the sixties vibe of freedom and love is to love humankind, that even the soldiers were best dealt with by being generous in our love.

But the sentiment I write of doesn't belong in a thread of Sexuality.

In the sixties maybe the distinction was blurred, doors of perception opening and all that.

Also they didn't have anything so dramatic as Aids to consider.

Elliott
09-12--2005, 01:41 AM
in my position i just think that if you've connected with somone and it leads to sex then i dont see why at the moment of the act of sex, why i or anyone in thier right mind should say no, i dont think i should because my parents told me i should be with someone for 6 months before anything like this. sorry mum, sorry dad but if i want to give myself to someone because it just feels perfect and the only thing saying no is what you've fed into me as a child then punish me. im guilty of feeling...

Chazz
09-12--2005, 03:14 AM
I'm lucky. I didn't really get any pressure from my parents in my teens about sex. Sounds like its weighing heavy on your shoulders.

Liked the first song of yours I heard at myspace, Im downloading it now so I can have a few listens:)

Atomik
09-12--2005, 09:52 AM
i just think that if you've connected with somone and it leads to sex then i dont see why at the moment of the act of sex, why i or anyone in thier right mind should say noWait until life experience outweighs hormones and you might have an inkling ;)

Elliott
14-12--2005, 01:50 AM
Wait until life experience outweighs hormones and you might have an inkling ;)

what a cop out. good way to end a disscussion.

nothing i can really say now is there. but ok. your right!

Elliott
14-12--2005, 01:56 AM
I'm lucky. I didn't really get any pressure from my parents in my teens about sex. Sounds like its weighing heavy on your shoulders.

Liked the first song of yours I heard at myspace, Im downloading it now so I can have a few listens:)

ah god my mum was always banging on about it.

Atomik
14-12--2005, 10:16 AM
what a cop out. good way to end a disscussion.

nothing i can really say now is there. but ok. your right!Well y'know, partly it is indeed a flippant cop-out. But partly it's also true. Every young male wants to shag every available woman, and they can never understand why women shouldn't feel the same way. After we gain some experience and learn about the complexity of the emotions involved in sex, and the potential emotional fall-out, we become a lot more cautious about just leaping into bed with people because we fancy them.

Elliott
17-12--2005, 02:35 AM
Well y'know, partly it is indeed a flippant cop-out. But partly it's also true. Every young male wants to shag every available woman, and they can never understand why women shouldn't feel the same way. After we gain some experience and learn about the complexity of the emotions involved in sex, and the potential emotional fall-out, we become a lot more cautious about just leaping into bed with people because we fancy them.

wow man. i never realized that! thanks for letting me know who i am. i feel much better. lol

i guess you've got me figured out dont ya.....

im not saying im perfect and i dont pretend to be. i am fully aware that sex is a spiritual conection and when you sleep with someone. you connect with them and that cant be broken. its a spiritual tie. i was just thinking about how it would work as 'free love'. i didnt mean to impose on your manhood and it was in no way an attempt to belittle you. but fuck man. do you really think that every guy wants to sleep with every available woman. im sorry you have such a shallow view on your brothers. but i suppose you can only speak from experience....

Atomik
17-12--2005, 11:13 AM
wow man. i never realized that! thanks for letting me know who i am. i feel much better. lol

i guess you've got me figured out dont ya.....

im not saying im perfect and i dont pretend to be. i am fully aware that sex is a spiritual conection and when you sleep with someone. you connect with them and that cant be broken. its a spiritual tie. i was just thinking about how it would work as 'free love'. i didnt mean to impose on your manhood and it was in no way an attempt to belittle you. but fuck man. do you really think that every guy wants to sleep with every available woman. im sorry you have such a shallow view on your brothers. but i suppose you can only speak from experience....Well I certainly touched a nerve there if that petulant little tirade is anything to go by.


i didnt mean to impose on your manhood and it was in no way an attempt to belittle you.I mean.... fuck! What the hell's that all about?


im sorry you have such a shallow view on your brothers. but i suppose you can only speak from experience....You really are intent on making an argument our of this conversation, aren't you?

Firstly, it's a little ironic that someone promoting 'free love' (otherwise known as 'casual sex') should accuse someone holding the contrary point of view of being shallow.

Secondly, (and I apologise for resorting to something as boring as facts. I guess it's a sign of maturity) young men in their early twenties have demonstrably higher levels of testosterone than any other age group of men. This makes the period from your teens to your mid to late twenties a time of heightened sex drive when your body is biologically prompting you to sleep with as many women as possible. Fact.

Now maybe if you could stop dressing your libido up in outdated hippy notions of 'free love' you could just get on with the business of getting out their and getting laid, which is clearly what you need to do in order to work some of the aggression and frustration out of your system. Good luck, dude! :thumbup:

Seeing as you've chosen to turn an interesting discussion into an argument, this thread has outlived its usefulness and is now closed. In future, please try and disagree with people politely. There's no need to provoke hostility just because you disagree with someone's honestly held opinion.