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View Full Version : Gays are an abomination in the eyes of god!



Atomik
09-12--2005, 02:54 PM
It's old. But it's also funny and makes some great points.



On her US radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura posted on the Internet.


Dear Dr. Laura,


Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.


I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Law and how to follow them:


1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?


2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?


3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev.15: 19-24). The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.


4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?


5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?


6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?


7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?


8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden in Lev.19:27. How should they die?


9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?


10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)


I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.


Your adoring fan,


James M. Kauffman, Ed.D.
Professor Emeritus
University of Virginia

pretty polly
09-12--2005, 03:27 PM
thats great! lol i love the one about men trimming thier hair, i just knew long hair was approved by God hehe

Atomik
09-12--2005, 03:41 PM
thats great! lol i love the one about men trimming thier hair, i just knew long hair was approved by God heheWell he did have a long-haired hippy son ;)

Joel
09-12--2005, 03:58 PM
thats some classy pimpin' shit my hommie bruva

Dapablo
09-12--2005, 04:46 PM
Brill, I hadn't seen that, may have to give the book a read, sounds like a right bundle of laughs. :)

Anusha
09-12--2005, 06:53 PM
ahaha... i don't know where you dug that one up from but it made me laugh for the first time today....:clap:

stardust
09-12--2005, 11:49 PM
can anyone tell me if leviticus is old or new testement?

where's a damn bible when you need one!!!

Exedous
10-12--2005, 12:32 AM
can anyone tell me if leviticus is old or new testement?

where's a damn bible when you need one!!!

Its old School...ooops testament,,,ah the wonders of google.

Ghost

Perthite
10-12--2005, 04:04 AM
yeah all the fire and brimstone stuff is in the first half

shaun
10-12--2005, 10:52 AM
man that just takes the cake :D what a guy

Elliott
19-12--2005, 06:00 PM
it is very funny how people really take thing super litterally. you can interpret the bible in so many different ways if only reading one line, but its a whole different ball game to read it in context.....

Elliott
19-12--2005, 06:01 PM
oh yea and notice how nearly all the examples come from leviticus lol

Perthite
19-12--2005, 07:40 PM
another fun book to read is Eclesiastes. WORTHLESS! WORTHLESS! FAITH, WORTHLESS?!

sums it up really...

Fleassy
23-12--2005, 01:16 AM
can anyone tell me if leviticus is old or new testement?

where's a damn bible when you need one!!!


old testiment. the lady was an orthadox jew, and the jewish faith follows the old testiment and not the new one.

shaun
23-12--2005, 01:30 AM
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/2920/CNNNN_Holy_Homosexuals.html
i think this fits in well

Atomik
23-12--2005, 10:58 AM
Fried gold :thumbup:

Dapablo
24-12--2005, 09:14 PM
Cheers shaun, showed that to my girls, beats smacking I reckon. :)

Atomik
03-09--2006, 02:55 PM
Bump :D

velvet
03-09--2006, 03:04 PM
heard someone say once that if hiv/aids is Gods punishment for guys fucking eachother than God must LOVE lesbians because overall they have the least risk of getting hiv/aids :)

Ms. Vee
04-09--2006, 10:58 AM
There's some interesting background info to the letter here (http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp).

Dr Laura also has some lovely sounding *cough* books that I must read some time called 'Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives' and 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands'..... Sound like vital reads to me... :whistle:

Coyote
04-09--2006, 11:55 AM
There's some interesting background info to the letter here (http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp).

Dr Laura also has some lovely sounding *cough* books that I must read some time called 'Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives' and 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands'..... Sound like vital reads to me... :whistle:


http://www.drlaurashop.com/product.php?id=96

lmao!!

Dapablo
04-09--2006, 12:19 PM
http://www.drlaurashop.com/product.php?id=96

lmao!!

Thats christmas sorted then. :)

melyn
04-09--2006, 12:28 PM
:madlol:

Brick
04-09--2006, 04:06 PM
http://www.drlaurashop.com/product.php?id=96

lmao!!
I'll just get a copy for my bookshelves, then... Required reading for any prospective mate... Oh yeah, that'll work... :harhar:

Coyote
04-09--2006, 04:31 PM
I'll just get a copy for my bookshelves, then... Required reading for any prospective mate... Oh yeah, that'll work... :harhar:

Yup. Thats a 100% effective contraceptive :D

mooka
15-09--2006, 07:21 AM
what was her reply is what i want to know