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Whirler
28-03--2006, 08:31 PM
For those of you who are gay how many of you have told your parents/family/friends? What kind of reaction have you had if you have? If you haven't told them, why not? Is it important for you that you have acceptence regarding your sexuality? Do believe it's got nothing to do with your parents? Have any of your decisions in this area dramatically impacted your life?

I've never had to deal with disapproval for any issue with my family, and it always saddens me when others do. Even if it's something like a choice of career. My brother told our parents he's gay when he was an older teenager - it didn't even make them raise their eyebrows (surprising 'cos my dad always picked on him - thought this would've given him an excuse!) Why do parents have such a problem with sexuality? Even if it was purely 'cos they wanted to be grandparents there's no guarentee you're kids will breed!

Personally I don't see what gender you screw is anybody else's business! (unless of course they fancy you ;))

wiggy
28-03--2006, 08:46 PM
Im not gay but i know a few people that are - one of them she told her mum and her mum went mental because she would never have children!!!!!

But a male friend of mine who told his mum said she was fine - she knew kind of, she really didnt care.

It must be alot for any parent to deal with and sometimes people react without thinking.

Whirler
28-03--2006, 10:04 PM
It must be alot for any parent to deal with Why do you think this?

stardust
28-03--2006, 11:24 PM
i think alot of parents might worry about it reflecting badly on them, particularly if they're of the older generation where it is less openly accepted.

my mum was cool when i told her. she said i love you no matter what, but she said she was upset that she wouldnt have grandchildren, but seeing as having kids has always been part of my plan shes not gonna be to upset.

she still doesnt tell many people about it though - like its some sort of secret. whereas my dad never batted an eyelid and tells anyone like it doesnt matter to him atall (which it doesnt) so i've been really lucky.

Fleassy
29-03--2006, 11:25 AM
my step mums cool about it, curius about it to. asks me lotof qustions (though theres really not much to tell her)

my dad rolled his eyes when i told him, i think was 15 wheni told him or 16 so i can understand. But he thinks homosexuality is natures way of population control and even said once "it can be bred out of humanity like a mutation" ...but hes not homophobic he has many gay friends... he just has an odd perspective on it i think.

Muy mum.... i dunno,i dont know if she knows actually... i think she must actually. i think she doesnt really care. My parents never really talk to me about it, probably because ive never had a girlfriend like ive had boyfriends.

My big brother was disgusted when i told him... then when he saw me eyeing up the same girl as him when we walked passed a shop once he started laughing and was like "my god thats sooo strange my sister fancies the same girls as me" and he's been cool twith it ever since.

Whirler
29-03--2006, 11:36 AM
Me & my brother used to have competitions over who could pull the same guy first!

Ms. Vee
29-03--2006, 12:03 PM
My brother came out when he was about 16 and everybody's always been supportive and completely fine with it. Since then, my mom has told us that she is bisexual and my cousin has come out as a lesbian. So I guess there's just a lot of gay blood in my family :p

uma
29-03--2006, 12:10 PM
For me this has been a tricky one. My dad is cool about it but i don't think my mum understands at all. Its not too much of an issue as I have ended up with a wonderful man rather than a women, but i suppose i just wish my parents knew me properly and understood.
In Dharma,
Uma
x x x

Lynvallen
30-03--2006, 06:24 PM
I've told all my friends im gay, and im perfectly happy telling people i've just met. Plus i've never met anyone who's had a problem with it. But i still havnt told any of my family.
The main reason i think is as far as i'm concerned it's none of their business really, but i've always told myself that as soon as i go to uni or i find myself in a serious relationship before then, then i'll tell them.
It's just never been a major thing for me that they know.

But uni's in september so we'll see how i feel about telling the family then...

Whirler
30-03--2006, 07:07 PM
i suppose i just wish my parents knew me properly and understood.What difference does it make that they understand your sexuality? If you were into bondage, would you want them to know and accept that? Do you feel it's another part of being accepted? A lot of parents often don't understand the partners that their children choose when they're heterosexual! I'm just interested in exploring the side of us that fears the judgement and wants the acceptence, and the people like Lynvallen who don't feel like it's a major thing.

melyn
30-03--2006, 07:49 PM
I always like thinking of the look of relief on my mums face when I told her, she thought I was about to tell her I was pregnant (I was fifteen). But shes cool, doesn't mind, same with my siblings.

I never told my dad though, I was always unsure of how he'd react (or if he'd react), I never deemed it worth 'risking' though.

uma
31-03--2006, 12:54 PM
What difference does it make that they understand your sexuality? If you were into bondage, would you want them to know and accept that? Do you feel it's another part of being accepted? A lot of parents often don't understand the partners that their children choose when they're heterosexual! I'm just interested in exploring the side of us that fears the judgement and wants the acceptence, and the people like Lynvallen who don't feel like it's a major thing.

I suppose it depends entirely on the person themselves and the relationship theyhave with their parents. I am very very open and honest with both my parents-they know of the people I have slept with for example and I talk to them about most things. To me, them knowing the real me is important. I don't want my family loving this 'idea' or image of me when that is not what I truly am. I love my parents completely and in turn would like to know the real them, rather than just play our roles as parents and daughter as is so easily done. My sexuality is a part of me, although not that important. What is more important is the amazing experince I had and I wanted my parents to understand that side of me too. I don't feel its an acceptance thing in the normal sense, more just open honesty. But as I say it completely depends on the people.
In Dharma,
Uma
x x x

Kat
02-04--2006, 10:24 PM
When my sister came out to my family it was never an issue..I dont thinkshe ever even properly 'came out' as such..she just happened to have a girlfriend..
And I think thats the way it should be..There shouldn't be an issue about whether someone is straight gay or bi..these classifications are too restricting..

Opal
17-07--2006, 05:38 PM
I remember at college my friend Jay who came out and told his mother he was gay....she just cried and cried and cried..

Zim
17-07--2006, 06:17 PM
my mother told me before i'd even managed to open my mouth.

we both keep it secret from my dad. He's never been that homophobic (just some slightly out of date beliefs) and has a fair number of gay friends and associates, but I think he'd react differently and negatively if he found out batted for both sides.

Athena
20-07--2006, 09:57 PM
My dad is extremely homophobic to the point he will not speak to anyone who is not 100% straight. Even when my cousin came out he severed all contact and stays firm by his belif that "all gays should be death sentanced" as it is "completely filthy and disguting"

So no I havent told him XD

Atomik
21-07--2006, 09:36 AM
My dad is extremely homophobic to the point he will not speak to anyone who is not 100% straight. Even when my cousin came out he severed all contact and stays firm by his belif that "all gays should be death sentanced" as it is "completely filthy and disguting"Sounds like a right charmer!

Athena
22-07--2006, 05:39 PM
yeah, hes laugh a minute :eek:

sockspinner
02-09--2006, 09:15 PM
For those of you who are gay how many of you have told your parents/family/friends? What kind of reaction have you had if you have? If you haven't told them, why not? Is it important for you that you have acceptence regarding your sexuality? Do believe it's got nothing to do with your parents? Have any of your decisions in this area dramatically impacted your life?

Hi my mom, (AKA glowingsunsets) friends and family all knows im gay and it didnt change anything im very close with all the people i have around me and am so obviously a good judge of character! my little brother and niece were a bit upset for like a day cuz they were young and worried about what their friends would think (natural i spose). My mom is open and a woman of the world so nothing fazes her,not that ive seen anyway, aslong as im safe and happy. my brothers, i have 6!! are all really kool so nothing to worry about there. my sister was happy id found someone that made me happy (at the time). none of these people or my friends were happy with my choice of partner at the time of "coming out" but they still respected the fact its my life and ive gotta make my own choices, they would rather know then find out sometime later i havent told them, that would only make them wonder why ive kept it from them, and its not like i could hide it im a crap liar! but i knew they all loved me for the person i am, not what i prefer in bed, so i didnt have the whole worry thing that alot of people do have im very lucky with the family and friends i am surrounded with and wouldnt change anything about anyone we are all individuals, different things make different people happy as long as your happy you have the power to pass on that happiness! and everyone wants to be happy so ive got something i can share with everyone!

sockspinner
02-09--2006, 09:39 PM
When my sister came out to my family it was never an issue..I dont thinkshe ever even properly 'came out' as such..she just happened to have a girlfriend..
And I think thats the way it should be.

I agree strongly with this..there is no issue its all good. happiness breeds happiness