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sTONEr
01-11--2005, 11:11 AM
Anyone esle here ever try this? I was celibate for three years once, by choice. While at some points it was incredibly difficult, and I was lonely, I just felt that I wasn't going to have sex with anybody who didn't mean a great deal to me. And during that point in my life I have never had more women approach me, and never had sex offered on a platter so many times. Oh the irony.

Atomik
01-11--2005, 11:23 AM
I just felt that I wasn't going to have sex with anybody who didn't mean a great deal to me.I've practiced that my entire life.

sTONEr
01-11--2005, 11:27 AM
Me too. Only ever had a one night stand once and it was awful, but normally somebody comes along quite quickly who I really like. Either I am getting fussier as I get older or nice girls are getting rarer.

Joel
01-11--2005, 12:15 PM
i've been doing it for about 8 months now, its not that bad to be honest, i dont really missing having sex at all!

plus its always nice to have a prolonged amount of time with yourself i think

zig zag
01-11--2005, 01:45 PM
its always nice to have a prolonged amount of time with yourself i think

yeah, I try to have one of those as often as possible :p


The last time I was celebate was about 11 years ago. It lasted about two and a half years. It didn't bother me at all for the first two years but after that it became a bit of a drag.

Anusha
01-11--2005, 03:01 PM
I'm not ready for a f*k buddy and as theres no one offering that i fancy i guess that makes me celibate by choice...

I'm not lonely....:broc:

and i dont miss it....:insane: :wall:

Atomik
01-11--2005, 04:41 PM
:lies:

crap muppet
01-11--2005, 05:43 PM
:ditto:

Anusha
01-11--2005, 06:16 PM
hey.... now would i lie about a thing like that...i mean...sex....whats that all about...!!! :whistle: :rolleyes:

Lozi
09-11--2005, 12:50 PM
i don't miss it coz i've never had it

sTONEr
09-11--2005, 01:03 PM
Probably for the best. There's a lot more on offer in the world than lying in a sweaty, sticky heap. Well.....at least I think so, I don't really know like.

Perthite
09-11--2005, 03:07 PM
i think i'd break my wrist if i tried to be celibate.

sTONEr
09-11--2005, 03:10 PM
Yes, I did end up with R.S.S. and extremely well sculpted forearms.

Dapablo
09-11--2005, 03:17 PM
Probably for the best. There's a lot more on offer in the world than lying in a sweaty, sticky heap. Well.....at least I think so, I don't really know like.

One of my favourites "Can this sticky stuff really be be love" BB

sTONEr
09-11--2005, 03:26 PM
My cup overfloweth with sticky stuff right now. Who's BB?

Dapablo
09-11--2005, 03:42 PM
Tut, Billy Bragg - Moving The Goalposts. :)

Chazz
15-12--2005, 07:52 PM
Ahh..ok....thought it sounded unusual for a BB King lyric


I had a couple of years being celibate, interesting experience on some levels, but towards the end, I just thought...I'm gonna go have some....did....we had a baby, my wonderful son...got married and divorced.

The reason I was celibate was to prove to someone (I thought) that i wasn't the wild one & could lead the quiet life with them (I'd been travelling for years before that time)...boy was I crazy about that girl. She never wanted more than friendship...c'est la vie but all part of lifes learning.

The major thing about that time wasn't so much the celibacy as the obsession with the friend. I often see guys going through similar stuff and think 'what a waste of your lives'.

Basically reckon I was a bit over-paranoid about people, specially her, thinking I was someone who wasn't serious minded.

Got over all that though I'm glad to say, it was a bit like swinging the opposite way on the pendulum of life.

pretty polly
15-12--2005, 08:04 PM
its been 6 months since ive had sex and JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ thats long and im not into one night stands so the person has to mean alot to me so untill that wonderful guy pops up, im stuffed :( :cry:

ahh im far too fussy

Atomik
15-12--2005, 08:07 PM
im stuffed Or not! :whistle:

pretty polly
15-12--2005, 08:17 PM
Or not! :whistle:

lol yes i did think that after, well ill just shh now and stop moaning that im sooooooo ermmm "feeling friendly" right now anyway...damn seafood

Chazz
15-12--2005, 08:41 PM
Well you'll just have to imagine that wonderful truly amazing knight for now

Atomik
15-12--2005, 08:47 PM
Well you'll just have to imagine that wonderful truly amazing knight for nowWith a big lance and a shiny helmet? :whistle:

pretty polly
15-12--2005, 08:56 PM
hehehe well maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe but as long as he has long hair, a hippy kinda mind and loves to climb trees then thats fiiiine hehe

Atomik
15-12--2005, 08:57 PM
Well I think you're on the right forum! :broc:

pretty polly
15-12--2005, 09:00 PM
hehe yeah im on the prowl :cool: lmao BEWARE!!!

Atomik
15-12--2005, 09:02 PM
OK hippies, form an orderly queue! No pushing at the back!

pretty polly
15-12--2005, 09:08 PM
lmao i WISH there was a que lol, i might not be so lonely then *sniff sniff* so if you could organise that for me id be very grateful, tho no one under the age of 22, id had enough of children lol

Atomik
15-12--2005, 09:10 PM
Young girls asking me to organise their sex lives? Where was the bloody internet when I was lonely and single?!? You kids don't know how easy you have it :harhar:

pretty polly
15-12--2005, 09:12 PM
easy!!!!! HARDLY! im just too fussy and i live in essex, i need all the help i can get:( and and the fact thats its been 6 months!! lol but hush hush about that lol xxxx

Atomik
15-12--2005, 09:13 PM
Yeah, being fussy kept me single for really long stretches. See, you should now be saying you're celibate by choice. Sets the guys a challenge!

pretty polly
15-12--2005, 09:16 PM
i AM a challenge anyway hehe:flirt:

Atomik
15-12--2005, 09:17 PM
i AM a challenge anyway hehe:flirt:Show me a woman who isn't :rolleyes:

pretty polly
15-12--2005, 09:22 PM
lol oh thats nice, im just a challenge if they dont do anything for me, then i turn into an ice maiden, but if i fancy them then they have a challenge to get me off them hehehe

Atomik
15-12--2005, 09:24 PM
Gotta respect a woman who knows what she wants!

pretty polly
15-12--2005, 09:36 PM
oh i do lol most definetly hehe

Paul
15-12--2005, 11:03 PM
My longest ever period of celibacy was when I was during my teenage years ... I was so stoned, smelt bad and couldn't talk to anyone through shyness and dope induced paranoia. :insane:

Paul
15-12--2005, 11:04 PM
Seriously though, I personally can't see the point of making a voluntary commitment to celibacy .. if I don't fancy anyone then that's ok ... there will come a time when I do. I wouldn't let a personal commitment get in the way of the right to change my mind.

But then I've never been the type to worry about how meaningful the sex is ... If it is, then that's a bonus, but sometimes it's just sex, purely physical ... still fun but that's all it is.

Anusha
15-12--2005, 11:56 PM
Seriously though, I personally can't see the point of making a voluntary commitment to celibacy .. if I don't fancy anyone then that's ok ... there will come a time when I do. I wouldn't let a personal commitment get in the way of the right to change my mind.

But then I've never been the type to worry about how meaningful the sex is ... If it is, then that's a bonus, but sometimes it's just sex, purely physical ... still fun but that's all it is.


I agree that you shouldnt let personal commitment get in the way of the right to change your mind... human nature...always about choices...but..

sex is just that.. occasionaly romantic..sometimes purely physical.. mostly passionate and intense but always fun... its a combination of all those things... and i dont see how without the meaningful any of those can taste too good..

Atomik
16-12--2005, 12:08 AM
My longest ever period of celibacy was when I was during my teenage years ... I was so stoned, smelt bad and couldn't talk to anyone through shyness and dope induced paranoia. :insane:Don't worry, Paul. It'll be over soon :harhar:

Paul
16-12--2005, 12:09 AM
I agree that you shouldnt let personal commitment get in the way of the right to change your mind... human nature...always about choices...but..

sex is just that.. occasionaly romantic..sometimes purely physical.. mostly passionate and intense but always fun... its a combination of all those things... and i dont see how without the meaningful any of those can taste too good..
I guess that depends on your definition of meaningful too

Anusha
16-12--2005, 12:24 AM
I guess that depends on your definition of meaningful too

no..meaningful has a universal definition....

Paul
16-12--2005, 12:37 AM
no..meaningful has a universal definition....
Well true, but there are levels. People don't necessarily have to feel very much for someone to want to have sex with them ... it could merely be physical attraction with very little emotional attachment.

Of course that is stll 'meaning' in itself but it doesn't mean that they have to mean too much to you emotionally.

Saying that though, it's always better to have some sort of 'chemistry' going on with them. However, if you don't want involvement, then that is also when things can get complicated.

Anusha
16-12--2005, 12:55 AM
Well true, but there are levels. People don't necessarily have to feel very much for someone to want to have sex with them ... it could merely be physical attraction with very little emotional attachment.

Of course that is stll 'meaning' in itself but it doesn't mean that they have to mean too much to you emotionally.

Saying that though, it's always better to have some sort of 'chemistry' going on with them. However, if you don't want involvement, then that is also when things can get complicated.

ahahaha...and i thought i was the only seriously screwed up one around here....!

yes...its all about chemistry... everything else surrounding it is crap... but blinkers off and disregarding alcohol/drug induced sex.... physical chemistry is a result of brain activity... you see..you want... but chemistry weaves its web of confusion and basic instinct brings intellectual chemistry into play...sex becomes meaningful...there is a purpose to it... no purpose = lesser fullfillment

Paul
16-12--2005, 01:23 AM
ahahaha...and i thought i was the only seriously screwed up one around here....!

yes...its all about chemistry... everything else surrounding it is crap... but blinkers off and disregarding alcohol/drug induced sex.... physical chemistry is a result of brain activity... you see..you want... but chemistry weaves its web of confusion and basic instinct brings intellectual chemistry into play...sex becomes meaningful...there is a purpose to it... no purpose = lesser fullfillment
I don't get it. Are you saying that because I think sex is often no more than a purely physical act I'm screwed up?

Maybe I'm not being clear. I just don't need to associate love (or emotional attachment) and sex ... I don't have to feel anything (except lust) to sleep with someone, although I understand that many people do.

Anusha
16-12--2005, 06:23 AM
I don't get it. Are you saying that because I think sex is often no more than a purely physical act I'm screwed up?

Maybe I'm not being clear. I just don't need to associate love (or emotional attachment) and sex ... I don't have to feel anything (except lust) to sleep with someone, although I understand that many people do.

No Paul...i wasnt...perhaps i should have thought a bit more before responding that way...again..:rolleyes:

It wasnt what you said but how you said it that amused me and i guess the way i worded my response didnt reflect that...that and the fact that i didnt undertstand it....and as I dont know how you do that {quote=Paul} multiple thingy.....I'll have to do it this way...you said..'Of course that is still 'meaning' in itself but it doesnt mean they have to mean too much to you emotionaly'...

sorry...i was having a shallow moment...:angel:


but following on from that.... I can understand the concept behind your attitude to sex...and just because i dont think i agree with it doesnt mean i dont respect your point of view...

for me...physical attraction doesnt happen too often..too fussy?..maybe...but whereas i can look at a guy and appreciate he may be drop dead gorgeous, i need more ingredients than that to complete the recipe for great sex. Physical attraction is what first makes me take notice, whats in his eyes brings chemistry into play and only at that point does he have my attention...but thats still not enough..those good looks that first attracted me turn me cold if whats inside isnt worth exploring too...so the final ingredient has to be personality...and given that the odds of finding all that in one person are pretty remote why the hell would i only want to shag it and walk away?....

I'm not suggesting here that your opinions are shallow or even that you have lower standards...I was just trying to explain why not having a sex life doesnt bother me....too much...and given that i'm working through an inherant distrust of men at the moment...that just adds another stumbling block into the equation...
I also dont think 'love' comes into it at all.. strength of emotion increases over time... 'love' at first sight to me just means lust at first sight.... and the begining of the process i described above...

Paul
16-12--2005, 01:05 PM
But I am shallow ... or at least I have the capacity to be shallow. :)

Not all the time though ...

wiggy
16-12--2005, 02:51 PM
I had a special friend but then he got a g/f and since them im just a slut lol so no im not celibate!!!!!!!!!

ecomamma
18-01--2006, 10:45 PM
I was celibate recently for 3 years (had a few smoochy moments tho!)....then in the last 7 months I slept with 3 people & decided I didnt want a relationship with any of them! Before that I only thought it was possible for me to have sex with people i am in love with! To have sex out of a relationship is a new concept for me...altho they have all been friends to start with, then they got shitty because I didnt want anything more (not even sex) because if you see someone is falling for you & your not into it is cruel to continue, leading them on.... i could never sleep with any of them again because they were into having a relationship with me & I just know they are not who i want to be with....

Now Im a bit confused:insane:
Altho im not celibate!

Chazz
18-01--2006, 10:59 PM
Ah well, you had the sense and strength not to continue when you saw they wanted more than you wanted to give, so lets give you a:angel:

ecomamma
19-01--2006, 01:27 AM
Ah well, you had the sense and strength not to continue when you saw they wanted more than you wanted to give, so lets give you a:angel:

Cheers Chazz! Its hard to give up something you enjoy doing :reddevil: i would prefer to fall in love....i think:rolleyes: yes,yes off course I would!:D

Chazz
19-01--2006, 01:55 AM
Me too:insane:....well I have....lucky me

ecomamma
19-01--2006, 02:07 AM
Me too:insane:....well I have....lucky me

You know theres a few ways at looking at that one....;) im really enjoying being on a level with my friends you only seem to get when your single.....there is another energy when you are with a partner I find I connect deeper with others when im single....i dont mean sexually either!;) im just more able to express myself i guess & if you can find that with a partner in tow then BINGO!

Chazz
19-01--2006, 02:16 AM
I can recall a few times when on a relationship ending, there's been the joy of getting into more with my friends.

Me n my partner don't have perfection in not letting our relationship get in the way of other friendships, but its very good in that neither of us want the other to lose touch with friends and the value they have in our lives.

ecomamma
19-01--2006, 02:28 AM
I can recall a few times when on a relationship ending, there's been the joy of getting into more with my friends.

Me n my partner don't have perfection in not letting our relationship get in the way of other friendships, but its very good in that neither of us want the other to lose touch with friends and the value they have in our lives.

Thats great Chazz, good on you both! i guess im at a stage in my life where I dont really desire a partner to the point that I get hooked up with the wrong person....being celibate has taught me so much,Im so glad i took time out to think about what I wanted out of a committed relationship.....

ecomamma
19-01--2006, 02:40 AM
But then I've never been the type to worry about how meaningful the sex is ... If it is, then that's a bonus, but sometimes it's just sex, purely physical ... still fun but that's all it is.

:respect:
I can only aspire to this way of thinking, altho dont think i ever will...........altho I wouldnt like the shoe on the other foot, like i want a deeper relationship & they dont, so im careful not to clock up too much karma.....dont you feel a little disapointed when u dont want to be with the person u have slept with, I do.... I guess it will wear off.....as there are so many amazing people out there to investigate :reddevil:

josh
19-01--2006, 10:07 AM
I went for 19 years once.

Rook
19-01--2006, 04:58 PM
Went for about a year in my late 20s but it most definately was NOT a choice :reddevil: . Then again I was a late starter, not till I was at uni. :o

ecomamma
23-01--2006, 10:45 PM
I went for 19 years once.

Yeah i guess i did 18 years!:angel:

phil
24-01--2006, 11:04 AM
I'm trying this right now. My new years resolution was to stop sleeping with people i didnt feel anything for and wait for somebody i do. This includes getting pissed and sleeping with ex girlfriends and having one night stands. Stickin with it so far but its a bit shit at times. I think it would be easier if our genitals were round the back or tucked away so we didnt keep seeing them and be reminded to have sex. Next time i have sex i want to feel alive and glowing after not pissed off with myself. You're allowed to wank when you're being celibate though arent you!!!? :whistle:

Dapablo
24-01--2006, 11:12 AM
You're allowed to wank when you're being celibate though arent you!!!? :whistle:

Nope. I think you have to try and remove sexuality from your life to be celibate. :)