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View Full Version : Incest - why is it so taboo?



josh
15-11--2005, 02:38 PM
Obviously this is controversial. However, why is the thought of incest met with such revulsion? For me personally, if I try to think about myself in a position of incestual activity, my mind just blanks it off and I actually find it near-impossible to picture such a thing. I don't even want to pursue it too far. But why is it that we find this so disturbing? Surely even, a sexual relation with say a sibling might cause a deepening of bonds?

Joel
15-11--2005, 02:44 PM
try reading georges batailles book "my mother"

but yeah, incest is really seen as a black point of social conduct, because you cant procreate with someone your that closely genetically related to, so sexual conduct with members of ones familly is also seen as a negative thing.

To be honest i dont think its acceptable, its a step over the social acceptability, because incest at the end of the day breeds negative social consequences...you've only gotta look at small isolated communities for proof of that, where the genetic pool has been extreamly limited...stupied and soemtimes deformed children result...

far from deepening bonds it would destroy bonds that are already extreamly significant

Atomik
15-11--2005, 02:59 PM
I think there are some fairly solid arguments against incest, but it has no place being taboo. Interestingly, in some countries, the idea of fucking your cousin is considered disgusting and morally repugnant, yet in the UK it would hardly even be frowned upon. It's all relative, innit? :madlol::oops:

Chegzy
15-11--2005, 03:12 PM
I dont have anything inteligent to say about it except for the fact that the thought sickens me deeply. I dont know exactly why i just think its wrong.

Atomik
15-11--2005, 03:16 PM
I dont have anything inteligent to say about it except for the fact that the thought sickens me deeply. I dont know exactly why i just think its wrong.A lot of people would say exactly the same thing about homosexuality. If we have a strong reaction to something, we need to examine it and understand it. This is why taboos are bad - they stop us from understanding ourselves.

Joel
15-11--2005, 03:22 PM
A lot of people would say exactly the same thing about homosexuality
its hardly the same as sleeping with someone of the same sex, to sleeping with your mother or father tho is it?

i can see your point as far as issues of taboo nature is concerned, but still, homosexuality has always been present in society, albeit as an under current, incest is something completely devode its a different set of relasionships to anything else, because it involves sexual relasions with someone already extreamly close to, but in a different way, it devoids familly relasionships.

Atomik
15-11--2005, 03:26 PM
its hardly the same as sleeping with someone of the same sex, to sleeping with your mother or father tho is it?I never said it was. The reaction is the same. My point is, if something instinctively disgusts us, this is not in itself sufficient reason for labelling it as 'wrong'. We need to understand why we react in that way in order to ascertain whether there's any rational reason for us to feel repulsed by something.

Chegzy
15-11--2005, 03:26 PM
Its like in the cider house rules when that bloke got his daughter pregnant, gives me the shudders

What about if you met someone only to find out they were your half brother/sister how do you think youd react?

To be honest i think id be asking for birth certificates from then on!

Atomik
15-11--2005, 03:28 PM
What about if you met someone only to find out they were your half brother/sister how do you think youd react?See that's a good example. If you had a half-brother/sister that you'd never known, and so long as you made sure never to have any children, what would be objectively wrong with you having a sexual relationship if you were attracted to them?

Chegzy
15-11--2005, 03:33 PM
See that's a good example. If you had a half-brother/sister that you'd never known, and so long as you made sure never to have any children, what would be objectively wrong with you having a sexual relationship if you were attracted to them?
I dont know to be perfectly honest, ive never known a family thats been involved in insest and dont know where i get my dislike in it from, its not something that has been exactly used a lot in the media, i just feel that its not right.

TREASON
15-11--2005, 03:34 PM
i used to think my step sister was pretty fit, but anyone i mentioned that too would be like, my god your fucking sick, i was like, no i aint, shes my step sister not my blood sister, but they didnt get it, and just jumped to the conclusion it was wrong cus she was my sister, loads of people said it was wrong, but i think maybe ive just spoke to stupid people.
my point was like, what if your girlfriends dad got married to your mum, then you would become brother n sister, does that mean you would split up, but it was on deaf ears. fucking numbskulls.
i didnt grow up with her by the way.

:angel:

and this might be a bit on the dodgy side, and im not in that situation, but i think id get together with a cousin if she was the right girl for me.

:reddevil:

Atomik
15-11--2005, 03:35 PM
i just feel that its not right.Use the force, young Skywalker! No... but seriously.... feelings aren't enough. If we don't try and rationalise things, well... that's where prejudice come from.

Atomik
15-11--2005, 03:35 PM
i used to think my step sister was pretty fitGot any pictures? :whistle:

Chegzy
15-11--2005, 03:42 PM
Use the force, young Skywalker! No... but seriously.... feelings aren't enough. If we don't try and rationalise things, well... that's where prejudice come from.
The force aint turned on today, or has it ever been on?

Yeah i totaly get that i should have a reason for it, and its definately the root of prejudice but i aint getting any rational reasons yet
But a link into it is that ive got a couple of friends of the family that i grew up with from birth, if we go out people can sometimes ask if theyre my boyfriend and i ALWAYS blurt out a nasty "Naah!" , and for some reason, i could never imagine doing anything of a sexual nature with them either.

josh
15-11--2005, 03:47 PM
Apparently, incest occurrs most frequently when family members meet each other for the first time after a lifetime of separation. E.g. when a dad meets his daughter that he's never seen or brother and sister meet etc. I don't know the exacty psychology behind it but there's something about there being such a sudden rush of emotions and love, but people don't know how to properly channel it, and it can lead to having sex as a way of dealing with these feelings. Obviously this doesn't happen to everyone but that's when it most often does happen in society.

josh
15-11--2005, 03:48 PM
far from deepening bonds it would destroy bonds that are already extreamly significant


but why does it destroy bonds instead of enhance them?

Joel
15-11--2005, 06:08 PM
umm

well familly bonds and familly love are those based purely on genetics or upon rules of growing up, so if your baught up by someone then conduct and relasionships are born on trust for that person purely, having sexual relasions changes the focus of the relasionship

whereas partener love is based primarally upon sexual relasions and pro creation



also to your previous post, i think my uncle once slept with his cousin, it was purely accidental, they'd never met and he was in the navy, it was a strange strange strange chance...

Firinne
15-11--2005, 06:42 PM
I never said it was. The reaction is the same. My point is, if something instinctively disgusts us, this is not in itself sufficient reason for labelling it as 'wrong'. We need to understand why we react in that way in order to ascertain whether there's any rational reason for us to feel repulsed by something.
I totally agree, it's easy to feel instinctively disgusted by something as a defence mechanism when we're actually attracted to it more powerfully than we'd want to admit. I'm not saying that's the case with anyones reaction to incest, but I do agree that with strong emotions it's best to try and understand them rather than obeying them without question.

Incest itself is a bad idea IMO, if you did start out on a relationship with a family member, fell in love and then decided you wanted kids ... yeeouch, imagine the pain when/if the child was born deformed in some way and you knew that you'd knowingly caused that to happen.

Atomik
15-11--2005, 06:47 PM
... yeeouch, imagine the pain when/if the child was born deformed in some way and you knew that you'd knowingly caused that to happen.Welcome to Somerset! :piggy:

josh
15-11--2005, 07:15 PM
It's not even that you've started a relationship though - I was thinking more of having sex as an expression of love or close feelings.

josh
15-11--2005, 07:16 PM
well familly bonds and familly love are those based purely on genetics or upon rules of growing up, so if your baught up by someone then conduct and relasionships are born on trust for that person purely, having sexual relasions changes the focus of the relasionship

whereas partener love is based primarally upon sexual relasions and pro creation.

yeah, i guess that's pretty much right.

TREASON
15-11--2005, 11:31 PM
my uncle had sex with my auntie. :barf:

Dapablo
16-11--2005, 12:34 AM
What though is revulsion ?

Is it a concept of our mind or something else ? Or maybe not the right word to use ?

I find the concept in some circumstances distastful or obscene, but in others acceptable. Lots of variables.

Firinne
16-11--2005, 12:40 AM
It's not even that you've started a relationship though - I was thinking more of having sex as an expression of love or close feelings.
True, but if you take into account that the more you have sex with someone the more you bond with them it strikes me as setting yourself up for huge disappointments. If you don't form a relationship but want to you'll be disappointed, likewise when you can't express your feelings as openly as others or have to suffer abuse because of them, and then pivotally in the event you have children .... seems like a lot to risk to express love in a particular fashion. Play it safe, go for Interflora instead ;)

Firinne
16-11--2005, 12:44 AM
What though is revulsion ?

I'd say it's a gut reaction of extreme distaste ...

Dapablo
16-11--2005, 09:06 AM
I'd say it's a gut reaction of extreme distaste ...

That says to me it is an instinctive response.
Are we supposed to be revulsed by the idea, nature says no ?

Atomik
16-11--2005, 09:31 AM
That says to me it is an instinctive response.
Are we supposed to be revulsed by the idea, nature says no ?I'm revulsed by rice pudding. Some people are revulsed by hairy women. Others are revulsed by homosexuality. I wouldn't rely on revulsion for moral or even natural guidance.

Firinne
16-11--2005, 09:41 AM
That says to me it is an instinctive response.
Are we supposed to be revulsed by the idea, nature says no ?

I think we internalise certain morals/ideas so that even when our reaction to something is mostly subconscious it's based on our initial decision to accept or reject a given idea. Unfortunately many of those things are internalised before we're old enough to make a rational decision (eg, picking up a parents fear and revulsion towards spiders) so it's definitely good to check those responses and separate the true responses from the ones that are simply conditioning.

Atomik
17-11--2005, 12:38 PM
Tesco support incest shocker!!!!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11/17/tescomum.jpg

Firinne
17-11--2005, 12:39 PM
Lol!!!!

TREASON
17-11--2005, 02:39 PM
.haha

Dapablo
17-11--2005, 03:05 PM
Funny, cheers dok. :)

scothippy
26-11--2005, 10:54 PM
Basically for me my dad is someone that protects me and laughs with me and just like mabye having sex with your best friend it might change that bond. It's a different love concerning you parents, so to have sex with them would just change and your mentality would change. Brothers and sisters, its easier because sometimes you more like friends than some looking after you. I couldn't sleep with my brother just coz i have a history and it would just ruin my relationship, it would change it. Although ill admit, there was a time i had a dream and it wasnt a daydream, it was a proper one that u dont know why the hell your here...when i woke up i was quite shocked.
So, incest changes family roles and relationships and thats why its just better not to. Although its prob a dark fantasy that we might have somewhere but one that i wont act out.

P.S. i know this post might be controversial but....my dreams are my dreams and they belong to me.

TREASON
26-11--2005, 11:19 PM
ive had a couple of bizarre dreams too in the past.

scothippy
27-11--2005, 02:25 AM
I nearly had a heart attack when i woke up. Couldn't look my brother in the face for a while but hey its just a dream although Freud says its not and it represents something.

TREASON
27-11--2005, 02:50 AM
whats it supposed to represent?
freud was a weirdo anyway, i wouldnt pay too much attension to what he thought.

yeah strange dreams :o

scothippy
27-11--2005, 03:01 AM
Well Freud was a pervert any, always going on about the psycho-sexual stages of development.

Atomik
27-11--2005, 10:26 AM
So, incest changes family roles and relationships and thats why its just better not to.I agree. It's a shame this seems to have made it such a taboo subject though. It's always better to talk about things openly and try and understand why we feel a particular way.

scothippy
27-11--2005, 02:43 PM
It would help a lot to talk about things more openly, especially sex.

Chazz
27-11--2005, 04:09 PM
Absolutely

It's rare to find open, honest, discussion of sexuality, and I find it interesting when I come across it, partly in terms of knowing myself, and how I feel about other people's ideas.

scothippy
27-11--2005, 05:08 PM
Exactly how i feel, i get fairly pissed off when people dont want to talk about it coz its...rude or something.

TREASON
27-11--2005, 05:49 PM
yeah i agree, although i know what im like and if someone dont wanna talk about summin id probably talk 3 times as hard.
its who we are, who gives a fuck, we should be sharing stuff like this, to get to know who we are as a people. not been embarressed by it.

scothippy
27-11--2005, 06:08 PM
The shock on people's faces when i come out with something is funny, i think they think that coz im usually quiet and shy, therefore i wouldnt have thoughts of these. Something like that, anyway incest is like a dark topic, you'd prob have to watch wat u say and i hate that. The same thing with paedophiles and that shit, there's no way all of them are evil evil people, in fact often they've been sexually abused themselves. The whole go to jail thing is just a sort of, shut them away and not have to think about them again, an avoidance of a problem. Anyway, im going way off topic.

TREASON
27-11--2005, 06:30 PM
i was out with a girl onetime a couple of years ago. and we was sat with a couple of other girls i know in the pub, me and 1st girl were having a deep convo about pedos and tryin to work out what makes them tick, and the other 2 girls got all shitty with us and was sayin we shouldnt be talkin about things like that. oh fuck off!!! was better then any conversation i ever had out of them.

glad i dont mix with peopel liek that no more.

scothippy
27-11--2005, 06:37 PM
yes, u shouldn't be talking about it, its not appropriate, socety says its not appropriate, well fuck society. If you work out what makes pedos tick, mabye you can prevent it. Some people say its a mental disease or thats its something psychological about the childs body, mabye coz its innocent and pure or something, but you mabye do something with that knowledge.

TREASON
27-11--2005, 08:00 PM
yeah, fucking summin pure and innocent, thats what i think gets pedos off mostly imho
same as any sexual deviancey, its goin against the grain of themselves.
thats why i aint got time for pedos, if they realise theyve gone to far and there concioness tells em its wrong and they wanna change, then by all means they should get help, id give my em time anyway. but someone who is just into it, then fuck em i think. if they cant get ontop of there sexuality then i think there weak at the expence of others. shoot em i reckon.
i think mine is a pretty realistic veiw too, its not newspaper psycology.
thats what most pedos are. IMHO......

TREASON
27-11--2005, 08:02 PM
ive made my effot to understand them, ive been in enough chat rooms and spoke to peodos to try and get my head round it....

scothippy
27-11--2005, 08:08 PM
Really? That's good, i think thats good, not many people do that. What did u find out?

p.s. sorry if this is going off topic.

TREASON
27-11--2005, 08:25 PM
found out its sexual deviancey, in the rooms i went in anyway,
if someone wants to fuck a baby and spunk all over it then in my eyes, that is sexual deviancey, thats fuck all to do with a illness, it might be summin that not everyone has got the capacity for because of genetics or whatever, but certain people who have got it in there genetics and have gone down that path, and dont have no urge to try and get em selfs out of it, then as far as im conderned can fuck off n die.
ive ventured down paths sexually that once ive been down there, as horny as it is, i aint wanted to stay down there, so ive pulled myself out of them, or steered out of them anyway. if someones got well into that path then it might be hard to get out of, but not impossible, but thats besides the point, if you belive summin is wrong, then a sexual urge shouldnt make you do it.
personally, if i was a pedo then i would be celibate. if someone dont take up a celibate lifestyle for the sake of keepin sex, then they can fuck off as far as im concernd, no matter how deep rooted there issues are there sexual urges are, they aint no stronger then anyone elses. if mine invloved hurting someone else, then id rain em in.
im judging totally based on my own experiance of pedos and my own sexuality, yeah my sexuality can be well strong, but not that fucking strong, unless i didnt really give a shit in the first place.
make sence yeah???

scothippy
27-11--2005, 08:54 PM
Yeppo!!