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Thread: post-rape advice

  1. #49
    Ummm.. fornicating Hawthorn's Avatar
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    IMO I think you should get some help for the depression. I suffer from it and take anti depressants which help loads. It is an illness like any other and should be recognised as such. It is not a sign of weakness. Have a read round on the internet. If you get your depression under control you will have more ability to cope with your emotions and the difficulties of everyday life. You have come so far and I am in awe of you for sharing your experiences and asking for the help you deserve.

  2. #50

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    Originally Posted by Blu
    Im glad my posts are helping others get through what is a really tough time. I only hope it doesnt "bore" you, as i type a sort of "diary" of my recovery.
    Piss off luv! Have you seen how much everyone blathers on about themselves on this site?
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    Nobody has to read what you've written and you're definitely not sounding self-indulgent so carry on writing and sharing your experience - it is helping you and others.

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    Originally Posted by Hawthorn
    IMO I think you should get some help for the depression
    I would agree in part to what you're saying but I think in Blu's case she's going to the core of what's making her feel bad - she's dealt with this stuff almost entirely on her own and now she's taken her first steps on the road to recovery. I wouldn't recommend anti-depressants at this stage unless things get bad enough for her to not cope.

    Blu, I think you've been so incredible going through the stages that you have - telling Lister, telling us, telling the nurse and now a GP. At any stage you could've backed out but you haven't. To me that's a sign of someone really taking control of the situation and really wanting to sort it out rather than bury it.

    In terms of the training/work situation, please stop being so hard on yourself. This is a major part of your life that's been affected because of that bloke but he hasn't destroyed it. You're still so young and I can't see any reason why you couldn't start some training in a year, 2 years, 3 years etc. It's really not over. Just give yourself time to heal and things will fall into place.

    What about joining up with a festival crew re the circus skills - that way you might be able to earn a bit of money. Also, the school thing is a good idea, maybe get a 'package' together of one day workshops and start promoting yourself at schools. Work out what you'll do and what your fee is so that you look professional and you'll be taken more seriously.

    Aaargh! Long post.


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  3. #51
    Pi is exactly three Boz's Avatar
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    Blu, well done. I wish i'd been as brave as you years ago!

    Im with Chegzy on the depression thing. It doesnt have to be perminant, it isnt like your eye colour, you can change it and not just cover it.

    I dunno what else to say. I feel really happy everytime i read your posts. I'm really pleased for you.
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  4. #52
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hawthorn
    IMO I think you should get some help for the depression. I suffer from it and take anti depressants which help loads.
    I do wish at times I could take somthing for the deppresion, something to stop me feeling so...
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    anic:
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    , but dont want to "rely" on pills. I know they arent supposed to be a permenant fix anyway, but just dont want to run the risk. Maybe theres a more natural/herbal solution?? I dont mean getting spaced outta my tree or anything, more something i can have in my bath, with food, or in a cuppa... Hmmmm...Ideas anyone??
    jim jam jobbies

  5. #53
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Whirler
    Piss off luv! Have you seen how much everyone blathers on about themselves on this site?
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    Nobody has to read what you've written and you're definitely not sounding self-indulgent so carry on writing and sharing your experience - it is helping you and others.
    Thanks Whirler. I just thought you might all think I was whining all the time!
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    Originally Posted by Whirler
    What about joining up with a festival crew re the circus skills - that way you might be able to earn a bit of money. Also, the school thing is a good idea, maybe get a 'package' together of one day workshops and start promoting yourself at schools. Work out what you'll do and what your fee is so that you look professional and you'll be taken more seriously.
    At the moment, I aint working, but come the Spring/Summer, I can work on the streets, teaching kids some bits n peices (diabolo, flower sticks, rola bola, cup n ball, scarves, etc), and I only take donations(so police dont hastle me for traders licence)...I can do pretty well with that when the weather holds. I dont know why other folk dont do similar? Kids love this stuff! Half the money I keep, and half I plough back into my wee "business", by getting new kit, (and cheap diabolos to sell on when no-ones looking, he he!
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    )
    At the mo I have enough in my suitcase to keep about 10 to 12 kids occupied at a time. Most weekends I am working if the weather is good, so i dont get much chance to go to festies...but maybe a change of scenery now n again would be good.
    Im working on getting Ziggie not to jump at my diabolos when i use them (he just wants to play!!!), as its important to have him under control when Im working. We made real progress this morning, and he dont even bark at them anymore. Im so proud! I felt real achievement this morning...even tho its just a silly little thing!
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    jim jam jobbies

  6. #54
    Radiant Being colours's Avatar
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    bergamont is a really cheerful oil to put in a bath, makeys you wakey wakey happy!

  7. #55
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by colours of thewind
    bergamont is a really cheerful oil to put in a bath, makeys you wakey wakey happy!
    Thanks colours of the wind, I'll try that when I get some money in. Where can I get it? Aromatherapy type shops? Is it easy to get?
    jim jam jobbies

  8. #56
    Radiant Being colours's Avatar
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    health food shop - the usual suspects, not one of the more expensive ones and common enough.

  9. #57
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    thanks!
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    jim jam jobbies

  10. #58
    There are lots of essential oils that help with depression. You shouldn't keep using the same ones as they start to lose their effect, but if you buy a lot then it will become quite pricey. As CoW said, Bergamot is a good one, Lavender is THE essential oil (perfect for burns), it's so good for so many things, Chamomile is good for depression. Those 3 are great for starters but if you want to know more, just ask.

    Also, herbal tea - chamomile.

  11. #59
    Radiant Being colours's Avatar
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    Oh Whirler, I told you my name was stupid and now you've made it COW!
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    If you don't like chamomile, chamomile and honey is nice

  12. #60

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    Originally Posted by colours of thewind
    Oh Whirler, I told you my name was stupid and now you've made it COW!

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    I didn't even realise! I was in a hurry & had to shorten your name
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  13. #61
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    GREAT. Just when I thought I was making some progress and I was plucking up the courage to make an appointment at the GUM clinic...the neighbours are kicking off big style. The
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    lod:: have been round before, and now our landladys getting really fed up of their complaining and so are we....
    I dont want to get kicked out of our beautiful flat! I dont want/need all this extra stress...not when Ive just started to seek help.... I dont know what to do!!! I feel like Im gonna hav a big ol breakdown.....HELLLLPPP!!!!!

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    jim jam jobbies

  14. #62
    What are they complaining about?

  15. #63
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    See "neighbours" topic >>>


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    The worst of it (from my point of view) is that the last time i met the neighbours, there were two fairly large guys SCREMING at me at the bottom of the stairs, and I couldnt get by. I tryed to talk but couldnt get a word in, and now i HATE going in the stairs alone. I dont want to leave, and when I do, i hate coming home again. Im pretty shaken...and it takes alot for me to get rattled....
    Last edited by Blu; 02-02--2008 at 01:49 PM.
    jim jam jobbies

  16. #64
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    mini up-date:

    OK...OK....ok...ok....
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    anic:

    I have an appointment at the GUM tomorrow....
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    anic:
    and Im trying to be big and brave.....
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    anic:
    and Im telling Lister it'll all be fine...
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    anic:
    I told him Im not worried at all.....
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    anic:




    But I am scared, I just dont want to let on.....
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    At least with the giro coming tomorrow, we can go for a pint or two afterwards....
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    I'll let you know how it went when I get home again
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    jim jam jobbies

  17. #65
    working mum AnnieAnne's Avatar
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    I know it's easy for me to say, but really, try not to worry. When I went to a GUM clinic a few years ago, I found the staff incredibly supportive and not at all judgemental. I thought they were going to tell me off for having been stupid ('cos quite frankly I had been), but it wasn't like that at all.
    Love is not all wine and roses, sometimes it's handcuffs and cheese.

  18. #66
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    mini update:

    ermm...ok, confession time....


    I chickened out...
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    I was all up for going, I even left the house with the intention of going...then somewhere I along the line I lost the will.

    Ive been feeling my lowest ever the last week or so, to the extent that somedays I dont want to get outta bed. Listers pretty worried. Ive never been like this before. I LOVE being outside doing stuff.It just seems like everytime I make a move, someones there to fuck me up. I cant move for the neighbours complaining, Igot the fucking jobcentre on my back trying to MAKE me take jobs which even if i did take, would fuck up our housing, my wee sis is on anti D's and my mums really worried so I dont want to share my crap with them...and on top of this, the fecking fiscal want 50 quid I dont have....
    Why should I get up? Everythings fucked...the world can just go on without me. I dont care anymore....

    We went to the shops on friday, and bought some st johns wort to see if thatll help me feel a bit more chipper. Im going to the docs tomorrow to make another appointment to see her, to see what she says.
    I really need to talk to someone NOW...I wonder how long it takes to see somebody???
    jim jam jobbies

  19. #67
    Divine Light princesstigermouse's Avatar
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    Hey lady
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    sorry to hear everything's so shitty and overwhelming for you right now
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    I hope your doctir can help... and make sure you mention the St. John's Wort to her as well. It can have tricky side-effects sometimes and isn't safe to take with lots of other medicines... I'm sure you know that but thought I'd better mention it!


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    xx spring xx

  20. #68
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    yeah, Im not on any medication or anything just now, so I thought Id go for it before she trys to give me other pills n stuff...
    I will try to remember to tell her when I go...Tastes horrid though!!
    jim jam jobbies

  21. #69
    Divine Light princesstigermouse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Blu
    yeah, Im not on any medication or anything just now, so I thought Id go for it before she trys to give me other pills n stuff...
    I will try to remember to tell her when I go...Tastes horrid though!!
    I know! I have used it before and took it as a tea... now that is what I call rank! But it really, really helped me. My doctor was really supportive of my choice, so hopefully she'll surprise you.
    xx spring xx

  22. #70
    Radiant Being colours's Avatar
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    don't beat yourself up for not going .... just make sure you get there!

    Put the St Johns in your favourite juice
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  23. #71
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by colours of thewind
    don't beat yourself up for not going .... just make sure you get there!

    Put the St Johns in your favourite juice
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    Oh ok! The lady didnt say weather that was a good idea or not...and i just presumed not, because if it can have effects with medication, then whose to say whatelse it might react with...but i guess juice makes sense!
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    jim jam jobbies

  24. #72
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    Right. Tomorrow, I am going to go along to the clinic and try to make another appointment. BALLS to the fecking useless course the jobcentre want me to go on, my health should come before any job.
    Wish me luck!
    jim jam jobbies

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