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Thread: post-rape advice

  1. #169
    Confused.... Kaiya's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by elfqueenofrohan
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    it's stupid isn't it? they've still got my clothes too
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    "we'll send them back" my arse
    heh and then people wounder why i didn't report any of the other things that have happened. I know this guy has hurt other girls since...and that could have been prevented.

    What really pisses me off is after spending months trying to get in touch with the officer in charge of my case with no luck my then boyfriend rang up and made complaints, they got a bit upty on the phone with him and he lost his temper abit..and they threatened to have him arrested.
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  2. #170
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    mini update: Got an unexpected call from the
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    lod::
    the other week, they had detained the creep...and they said they made his time at the station "uncomfortable"....whatever that means. They are chasing up some other names too, so I guess they hadnt forgot about me after all!
    Hearing from the police brought it all back...and I said I wasnt gonna let it bother me this year....oh well......
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    jim jam jobbies

  3. #171
    Tea Fairy jo_rhymes's Avatar
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    that's really good though, that's he's getting detained. Brilliant news!!
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    X x x

  4. #172
    Divine Light princesstigermouse's Avatar
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    I am so glad the police have acted on this! It's taken a long time, but it's the right thing to happen.

    Of course this must drag up lots of unwanted feelings
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    but you should be hugely proud of yourself for going to the police in the first place and coming as far as you have.
    xx spring xx

  5. #173
    so glad to see the police are actually doing something, Blu.

    sorry you keep having to relive the experience, but hopefully some justice will be done, and it might give you more peace, at least knowing he won't be able to do it to someone else.


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  6. #174
    Sonic Rambler Moon_Cheese's Avatar
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    I dont really no what to say but it's people like you how keep the world spinning, your so strong, keeping it to your self was just a situational reaction, but im shore you Know that, I have had problems which requied therapy, but nothing like that, it really helped me to talk my issues through and i came out a better, stronger person, I hope you can find something to help, and good luck
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    Taking Life To Seriously? Just Remember We Are Talking Monkeys On An Organic Spaceship.

  7. #175
    Posts about ecstasy issue moved to support forum:


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  8. #176
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    Going by the last thread, can i make it clear that I will NOT take any kind of "medication" or anything else for my mental health. I choose not to, because I have never taken any drugs....and I have no intention of starting now. End of!

    On a good note, Ive now started college, so that helps ALOT, keeping my mind away from other t6hings...
    Last edited by Blu; 10-02--2009 at 03:38 PM.
    jim jam jobbies

  9. #177
    Pyromaniac Cooksey's Avatar
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    mate thats a really awful thingyou went through, you are really brave you know. I hope he gets his one day how dare he do that to you and treat you like that you must have been scared stiff.
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    What a monster.
    Talking it through will make it alot easier to get past I spent way too long holding things in but now I do tend to vent more. It must have left you with a head full of crap all that so good that you can now begin to get rid of it even if things seem raw with all thats going on it will give you some closure in the end.
    Take care x
    ..ии:*"Chasing fire~flys" *:ии..

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  10. #178
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    thankss mate. stuff is (very gradually...) getting a bit better. Its slow and steady, i guess. Althyough i think my tempers getting worse; i can snap at almost anything...i dunno how Lister puts up with it!
    jim jam jobbies

  11. #179
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    Blu you are One in a million and heartfelt prayers that you grow from strenght to strenght, of which I am sure!

    You may wish to try mindfulness meditation to address the symptoms of depression, mindfulness and symran (mantra) meditation have both been shown to help heal us within and also to address the very nature of our brain and body chemistry, not to mention actually switich genes on or off to help the body recover.

    Good site that offers free meditation audios and some articles meditation based research is stressmanagement.co.uk

    Gurkirpa

  12. #180
    Heavenly Creature Lister D's Avatar
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    Blu, you're amazing. You're getting through college and making friends. A total difference to a year or even TWO years ago.

    You rock lady.....x x x
    "Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough."

  13. #181
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    mini update: Well the other day Lister got a call from "my" police lady whose dealing with my case. They are now trying to get info from one of the guys who was hasstling me when my mates dad was away, and i was left at the farm on my own. The guy has been taken in, but just keeps saying "no comment" to everything...so they were talking about detaining him. Dunno if thats good or not. Guess its prob not good for him.
    Thats all I know just now
    , and it seems to be slow and steady progress. Everytime I start to forget, I get a call from the police...I dunno how to feel. Im glad they havent "forgotten" about me, but sometimes I would just like to forget about everything too.
    jim jam jobbies

  14. #182
    Divine Light princesstigermouse's Avatar
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    Hang in there, sweetheart. You're doing great xx
    xx spring xx

  15. #183
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    yeah, just keeping myself busy with college, im really enjoying it, and it gives me something to focus on and aim for. Ive thought about stoping writing in this thread, but I want to see how it ends... I want this to be here for any other poor soul who goes through/ has gone through what I did. I want them to see how I coped and what I did, so that I can show (hopefully) there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it looks doubtful at times...

    I hope that makes sense.
    jim jam jobbies

  16. #184
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    mini update: Got a phone call from the police woman incharge of my case...and she's having to close it. The man in question says it was consentual...and his mate (if you can call him that) just keeps saying "no comment", and denying he knows either myself or the guy in question.There isnt enough to take it to Court.Its unfortunate she's having to close it, but if he ever does anything in the future, it may be re-opened. She recomends that I try for compensation due to being out of work...but I dunno how to go about this? Through Victim Support or CAB? Im not sure.
    I know its not the outcome myself or Lister would have wanted, but as she said, its hard enough to prove what happened a few days after...let alone a couple of years.


    jim jam jobbies

  17. #185
    Miss Information magic tea's Avatar
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    Hi Blu,

    I was mugged a couple of years ago and went through Victim Support because I'd been off work/uni and did get compensation. By the sounds of it you have a very good case so it should be relatively easy, as long as you have paperwork and doctor's notes to back you up. They do make it difficult form-filling wise, but VS offer support there and were really helpful. Although, I think there might be a time-limit as to how long ago the event took place so you might want to ask about that before you spend time and effort (emotionally as well!) filling in all the paperwork.

    I hope it goes well.


  18. #186
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    Hugs to you.
    I was raped 9 years ago. I was 16 at the time, he was my (older) boyfriend and i thought he loved me, so when it happened i told no-one. the only person who knows is my fiance who has been wonderful.

    I just wanted to say well done you for standing up for yourself, its too late for me to do anything now, but please do everything in your power to help yourself and make yourself an amazing life and NEVER EVER let this person affect you in anyway again.
    You're amazing.
    xxx
    'theres room at the top they are telling you still, but first you must learn how to smile when you kill, if you want to be like the folks on the hill.'

  19. #187
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    thanks guys. Im gonna contact victim support, and see what happens. It will be stressful doing the paper work and digging up the past (again), but its all part of the healing process, according to lister anyway. If I do get compensation, Im going to put it towards my photography course Im studying....might aswell get something good from this whole mess....
    jim jam jobbies

  20. #188
    the essence of existance Blu's Avatar
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    Im hoping that no one take this the wrong way, so here goes...

    I keep getting PMs (generally from newbies it has to be said) about this subject, and they seem to keep suggesting that I should talk to God, or Jesus.
    I would like to say that the guy who did this to me called himself a "Christian", and even had a half-size statue of The Virgin Mary in his garden.
    I dont beleive in any God or "higher being", and after what has happened it has put me off ever beleiving in such things. Even when we were homeless, my partner wanted to go to the christian centres for food, and i REALLY struggled with that. They made us say prayers before food, and I sat there with tears pouring down my face, such was my real fear.

    So please, before you PM me preaching your ways, have a read of this and a wee think first.
    I have dealt with this in my own way and in my own time, and will continue to do so until I feel "sorted".

    Thanks.
    Last edited by Blu; 07-01--2010 at 02:12 PM.
    jim jam jobbies

  21. #189
    Don't worry. That particular bigot is banned. Again.

  22. #190
    Heavenly Creature Roamer's Avatar
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    Wonder where blu is now?

    A 2010 thread I stumbled across.

    I'd slice & dice any mother fucker that attempted to hurt my child/teen/ adult.

    They would pay. They would suffer.

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