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Thread: Why are we the weird parents?

  1. #1
    Just chillin' Rainbow Phoenix's Avatar
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    Why are we the weird parents?

    I have 2 kids, one is 7 and the other is nearly 18 months. They are happy and healthy children. However, apparently I am weird because:

    I make all their meals from scratch;
    The baby eats what we eat, and not jars of gloop;
    The don't have computers, laptops, tablets or mobile phones (seriously you would not believe what some kids in my daughters class have, they're 7 for pitys sake);
    If the sun is shining they play outside;
    They read books (or look at the pictures) instead of playing computer games;
    They like to build/destroy things (delete as applicable).

    When Jo was born the other mams thought I was weird for baby wearing, and then when he was weaned I got told 'well you would make his food wouldn't you?'....

    Thinking back to my own childhood, this kind of lifestyle was normal!!! When did this become weird!!
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  2. #2
    Ah found it! Moderator FriedOnion's Avatar
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    No idea but I think you're doing it right.
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  3. #3
    Heavenly Creature Ecobob's Avatar
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    Well done you, and no it's not weird. my son is 7 and apart from having a tablet in the last 6 months, is the same, especially the building / destroying bit.
    Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

  4. #4
    Chilling Out Willowstars's Avatar
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    I feel your pain! I'm a weird parent because I expect my children to take responsibility for their actions so that they learn accountability. I allow them to wear what they want
    - pink ballet tutu and a hole in her tights with a random flower stuffed in the hole is one of my daughters famous outfits. I'm also weird apparently as when I say no I mean it an my children respect my decision. I also expect bed to mean sleeping till the morning. We have a happy hippy family life and school say my children are very well rounded and mature. Other parents however look at us as if we were the lowest of the low :-(
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  5. #5
    Heavenly Creature Rainbomama's Avatar
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    Yup!im a wierd parent and proud to be...iv baby worn all 7 of mine,not at the same time,lol,and at various times my grandkids...still do 3 of them...jarred food a rarity,and for rhe last 4 defo rare to non exsistant..my motto when the i wants...everyone else has one,starts...you may not always have what you want,but you ll always have what you need...they dont have x boxes etc...they ve had gameboys but are bored..the youngest 2 (11 & 15)still read every night..the youngest loves nothing more than making stuff with his own proper tools,saw,chisels,hand drill,hatchet...my sis wont let her 9yr old in the garden when hes using then as its dangerous!oh and he also loves using my poi!and as for playing out,theres no bad weather...just inappropriate clothing xxxxx
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  6. #6
    just me Colin M's Avatar
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    Weird?

    Hell no!

    I think that you have VERY lucky children.

    My son had the same kind of upbringing; despite his mother and I splitting when the was 6 we agreed on his upbringing, and made sure he didn't play us off against each other.

    He is now a very rounded, hard working man of 23, and his mother and I are very proud of him.

    We brought him up how we were brought up, and it worked out just grand.

    :-)
    Smile - It'll make them nervous.
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  7. #7
    Batshit Crazy. groove's Avatar
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    Bad parent scenario #1....
    First time we lit the fire poi for Georgie, aged about 11 or 12 I guess, next morning in the tent.....
    'Mum my eyelashes are all bobbley. ...'....
    On looking at my eldest girl, she had a big black mark at the top of her nose..... seems she had singed her face.....never done it since mind.

    Bad parenting.
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    FORM FROM THE VOID Danann's Avatar
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    There is Nothing "Weird" ..About your Parenting ....
    As Parents Like You And Me And Many Here Have Raised Our Children Exactly The Same Way....As "Real Parents" Our Children Come First ...And As Our Parents Raised Us ..With Total Love And Caring.....As To Us
    Our Childrens...Love..Health..Wellbeing ..Education ..Fun ..Laughter Etc Comes First Always...
    We Cook Fresh Prepared Meals For Them...(Not Them)
    We Wash Their Clothes And Keep Them Clean Etc
    We Read/Play With Them And Educate Them With Love Respect Understanding For Others And Nature And All Things In This World.
    And We Treat Them As Children What They Truly Are And Not ...
    As Adults...Where They Have To ...
    Cook...Clean..And Do Everything Themselves ..
    .And Just Get On With Anything As Long As They Are quiet
    While "Mummy Is On FB Or Tinder Or Comouturs/Phones Etc Etc ...!!

    So Because Sooo Many Parents Are Sadly Like This
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    To Them....When They See A "Real True Parent" They Think Us "Weird/Strange"..
    Because Sadly They Do "NOT KNOW" ...What A Real Parent Is ...
    So Whever Soneone Would Hint Or Say Its "Weird" The Way I/We Raise Our Children ..(I Take It And Took It As A "Compliment" Rather Than An "Insult"
    As I Would Never Or Could Never Or Want To Be Such "Parents As Them"

    So I Would Say That I Think Your Children Have Been Blessed With Such Loving Kind ..Caring ..Kind Real Beautiful Parents As You Are....Just As You Have Been To Have Been Blessed With Beautiful Children
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    As I Believe And Was Raised That Children Are A True Pure Beautiful Blessing Created From Love .. And A Gift To Have Been Given And Blessed With ..And Therefore Should Be .Loved And .Cherished And Protected Like The Beautiful Blessings they Truly Are
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    )
    Form From The Void & Mists
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    Heavenly Creature Rainbomama's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by groove
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    Bad parent scenario #1....
    First time we lit the fire poi for Georgie, aged about 11 or 12 I guess, next morning in the tent.....
    'Mum my eyelashes are all bobbley. ...'....
    On looking at my eldest girl, she had a big black mark at the top of her nose..... seems she had singed her face.....never done it since mind.

    Bad parenting.
    No!toby does it ..now 11...they learn from it...if they dont take risks they dont learn to judge a situation for themselves xx

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    I think this is normal not weird at all! My Children are now 25 and 23 years old and they were brought up this way......... They played out in all weathers had fun and were read to every night before bed when they were young... My daughter has just finished her English Degree and says she thinks that the reading from an early age helped her to get to that level..... I must have done one think right lol
    Oh and they shared a bed with us if they woke in the night and felt like a cuddle.......
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  11. #11
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    Another weird thing.... My daughter is a Vegetarian and has been since she was about 8 years old.... She never really liked meat and some of the texture of it made her gag.... I think one day she just sort of decided not to eat it anymore! So she was never ' made' to eat it again........
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  12. #12
    Not Quite a Noobie SparkleDevil's Avatar
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    I think you're children are really lucky to have such a good Muma.

    My friend toddler is 2, and he knows how to play fruit ninja on the iPad....and goes MENTAL when the iPad is taken away from him


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    Originally Posted by Rainbow Phoenix
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    I have 2 kids, one is 7 and the other is nearly 18 months. They are happy and healthy children. However, apparently I am weird because:

    I make all their meals from scratch;
    The baby eats what we eat, and not jars of gloop;
    The don't have computers, laptops, tablets or mobile phones (seriously you would not believe what some kids in my daughters class have, they're 7 for pitys sake);
    If the sun is shining they play outside;
    They read books (or look at the pictures) instead of playing computer games;
    They like to build/destroy things (delete as applicable).

    When Jo was born the other mams thought I was weird for baby wearing, and then when he was weaned I got told 'well you would make his food wouldn't you?'....

    Thinking back to my own childhood, this kind of lifestyle was normal!!! When did this become weird!!

  13. #13
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    Do not worry Rainbow you are doing just fine, the type of people you are talking about are sheep who follow the crowd and any devient from the set dictat will result in put downs and critism.
    Typical behaviour of the uneducated masses against the individual.
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  14. #14
    Transcending SUNSHINE AND CO's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rainbow Phoenix
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    I have 2 kids, one is 7 and the other is nearly 18 months. They are happy and healthy children. However, apparently I am weird because:

    I make all their meals from scratch;
    The baby eats what we eat, and not jars of gloop;
    The don't have computers, laptops, tablets or mobile phones (seriously you would not believe what some kids in my daughters class have, they're 7 for pitys sake);
    If the sun is shining they play outside;
    They read books (or look at the pictures) instead of playing computer games;
    They like to build/destroy things (delete as applicable).

    When Jo was born the other mams thought I was weird for baby wearing, and then when he was weaned I got told 'well you would make his food wouldn't you?'....

    Thinking back to my own childhood, this kind of lifestyle was normal!!! When did this become weird!!
    Just smile and wave.......i get it almost daily from family as well. At the minute my youngest boy is 19 months and has lovely long blonde hair along with his amber necklaces and outfits we both love. I get he looks like a girl (so original) what about when he starts School (not even considered till he's seven) and then he will choose his own hair style. Then it steps up a notch to "you think you're so perfect" ha i wish lol this is because i buy mostly organic cook nearly every thing and this rubs off on the children nearly seven year old daughter can cook fairly well with a watch full eye (this is apparently neglect) and it goes on. Do what you think is right and just let the sheep worble on and on and on!
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  15. #15
    Transcending SUNSHINE AND CO's Avatar
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    Ha ha they have to learn my 12 year old boy can work as good as any man in fact a lot better then some i've seen. He will swing an axe and cut all my fire wood, get a fire going quicker than me, cut the grass, control very well two of the big dogs and if i let him probably bloody drive i all this "bad parenting" bloody hell it might give them life skills!
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  16. #16
    Chilling Out Willowstars's Avatar
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    I get the same from my parents they seem to confuse independence with neglect and nearly had a heart attack when my 10 year old lit the fire and then ( omg!!!) got on his bike and cycled to the shop. Even worse is an 8 year old girl who showers herself and drys her own hair. What am I thinking!!! And don't even get them started in my you wear what you want rule .
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  17. #17
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    I know this is an old thread but I wanted to respond as it rang so many bells with me!

    I've had the same throughout my son's life. I've had so many negative comments and responses to decisions I've made regarding my son. He's fourteen now and has epilepsy, autism and learning difficulties (all a result of a brain injury sustained during the birth, I believe, although I've never been able to prove it). I've always been careful about what he ate, we've always spent a lot of time outside and I was always quite old fashioned about getting fresh air every day and sticking to a routine. I've home educated him since the age of five and almost everyone I know thought I was mad, but fast forward to the present day and everyone comments on how polite and well behaved he is. None of my friends' kids do anything around the house but I've always got mine to do what he's able to and as a result he now has his own share of the chores and does laundry, basic cooking, makes his bed and keeps his room tidy. He loves hoovering and he cuts the grass in the summer. He gets money for doing jobs around the house or for generally being well behaved or trying hard at something, or sometimes just for coping well in a difficult situation. Then he saves up for what he wants and buys his own stuff. Most of my friends just buy their kids stuff willy nilly and I just don't see how you can learn about the value of things if you don't have to do anything to get them? My son still doesn't really understand the value of different coins because he sees things very literally; it makes no sense to him that a pound coin is worth less than a fifty pence because the fifty pence is bigger in size and in his mind that means 'more' but it's a work in progress and I'm sure he'll get the hang of it one day.

    One thing that is nice about the estate that we live on is that a lot of the kids do play outside and they do go off on their bikes for adventures. I'm not quite so keen on it at half past 11 at night when they're all hanging around making a lot of noise and I want to go to sleep but that's another story
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    It is funny, though, how people who are looking after their kids well and preparing them for adulthood are considered odd?! I find it odd that people don't do it.
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  18. #18
    Heavenly Creature Roamer's Avatar
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    You sound perfectly normal to me rainbow. Good on you. Tell anyone who sticks there nose in to take a hike. The fresh air would do em good
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    Take allll those exclamation marks & turn them into a "mind your own business & have a bit of respect or clear off"
    No way would I be upsetting myself over it. Blooming cheek of them.
    You are gonna have great kids
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  19. #19
    Heavenly Creature cricket's Avatar
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    To all the ones who are considered by others as I, weird,odd,peculiar... Home educators i am in awe of you.x I was told i was odd for not weaning my son till he decide to stop.I had an old baggy jumper...anytime he was bothered by the big world he would be up my jumper like a joey into the pouch.He was also on solids at 7 months ,well mushy solids.Why anyone buys those jars of stuff I dont get,all you need is a fork to make everything gummable,till they can chomp.When state indoctrination started he just stopped,except the odd times he was poorly or upset.He was in my bed from birth till he decided to move out into his nest in the next room when he chose,even then doors were never closed to him at night.I dont get why cots and other rooms are considered normal,no other creature so far as i know would put offspring out of the nest in slumber or when vulnerable and needy.The playpen is also weird...adapting to bars.The multi ethnic dolls in the pushchair he took about when little, were frowned upon,people said he would grow up "queer"The biggest mistake i made was beleiving that the social experience of school would be good for him.He did learn some things in primary,but in main state education taught him about hierarchy,sadists,bullys,exclusion,with teachers as well as other kids.He was also attacked by another child,my gentle son,innocence taken in fear.Teachers told me he should"man up""learn to fight back" then he was forced to shake hands with the attacker.I was up school often to no avail.I told him it was okay to defend himself and take a swing at the bully,but he refused saying he would not hurt the child as he had "issues"He was made to suffer as i had no job and free school meals and applying to get funding for books,always the last one to have them,embarrassed him and as it is with kids you suffer far more for everything they suffer.He is borderline dsylexic but school said"boys are slow spellers""he will grow out of it""spellings not important nowadays"and it would cost over 300 for the test.No computer till 11 when we were told he would have to have one for school or he would fall behind and it would be my fault.We went online at home at age 13 under duress,then he got A* in all his computer exams and we was accused of cheating as his prowess was "impossible" I should have taken him travelling instead,but as a lone parent felt inadequate as a teacher,but maybe not so bad,,,he is a gengtle wise lad about to willingly take Alevels in the sciences so he can get a good job because he sees that to change the world in good ways is easier if you have a position our society respects.He is a wild wolf at heart out in the mountains with his lurcher,first "proper"hippy festie at 2,adored and adorable with formidable will,so it is going to be okay.But if anyone reading this is in two minds about home ed....do as your heart and soul tell you and have the courage to beleive in yourself because you are going to be the best teacher your child will ever have.x
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  20. #20
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    Sorry to read about your boy's experiences in school, cricket, it's a terrible shame when school does that to a child. The system works very well for some academically but for others it's not only a problem in the sense that they don't enjoy learning anymore but can also lead to all the different situations you've described. Very tough for children to have to cope with all that at a time when they should be enjoying themselves and finding out who they are, if at all possible.

    I trained as a teacher before I had my son. I loved working with teenagers but you can see the ones who have had or are having a dreadful time, for whatever reason, as well as those who've had a love for learning drummed out of them because they've been forced to learn about things they're not interested in and it's made education a dull experience for them. My son went to primary school for two terms and in those two terms he learnt how to punch, kick, spit and swear. Awful experience and it amazed and horrified me that other children of his age were so violent and aggressive. I took him out for a year and he's still at home - he's 14 now!

    I'm glad your lad is about to go into 'A' levels; it sounds as if he knows what he wants and is going to go for it and that's a good thing.
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  21. #21
    Heavenly Creature cricket's Avatar
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    giving it some kindness.x


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    Thanks for your time and kind words.x Its a lonely road at times the lone parent thing.The whole state education thing needs utter overhaul.My son i admit was encouraged to fly below the radar...i even went to parents evening in a suit!!!
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    Back on with the wellies and in the tat mobile out of sight of school gates.
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    None of the teachers applied any understanding of psychology.One ripped up "poor"work infront of primary pupils and got them to squash caterpillars on the garden.One let them watch videos for 3 weeks as her hip was playing up.The tales I could tell would horrify you.Many teachers are fed up with the system,worn out trying to teach kids who dont want to be there,disrupting teaching for those who do.Order is rare,control minimal.No mutual respect.A lovely lovely teacher of english left when we did, after being spat at,kicked and mocked all too frequently.A sad loss indeed.So we packed up in the gap after gcses and moved to the mountains of wales for A levels.The discipline is good,as is respect.The welsh system seems to support the youngsters more,where we have moved to seems 30 years behind the uk in good ways.There is an educational maintenance allowance of 30/week to them alone and smaller classes with more support.University also is more supported i think if he wants to do that.I dont mind what so long as hes happy.I have a secret little hope that he will take time out in the forseeable future and can go walkabout to share wonders and adventures together while i still can,"Heading for the high road..and whatever comes our way..born to be wild"
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    x

  22. #22
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    Funny you say that about Wales being different (re schools), Cricket, but my sister moved there a couple of years ago and her eldest son went from being constantly in detention and always being behind and having catch up work to do to being top of his class in Maths and showing huge improvements in all the other subjects.

    I've found the lone parent thing hard sometimes and easier at others. It has been great to be able to make decisions about my son without having to think about someone else's point of view, especially as some of the things I've done have been a bit 'out there' to some (home ed, for example). You quite often get people on home ed forums who want to take their kids out of school but the other parent isn't keen and it can cause big arguments. We've also moved quite a bit and that's a lot easier when you don't have to think about someone else's job or family commitments. Plus I've got quite good at DIY and I can cope with spiders now
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    But there have been a lot of times over the years when it would be nice to sit on the sofa and chat to someone instead of talking to the cat and to chat through options when I need to make a decision and I'm not sure what to do. Plus I have had a number of hairy incidents trying to move heavy furniture on my own and getting stuck or wedged behind something lol
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    But you muddle though, don't you, he's 14 now and I'm really proud of how well we've both done; his dad's not seen him since he was 6 months old and it used to really worry and upset me but he's turned out to be a cracking lad and his dad being around hasn't been an issue.

    Lovely that your lad has some options in front of him now; it's very exciting seeing them make their way in the world as they grow up and turn into proper humans!
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  23. #23
    Heavenly Creature cricket's Avatar
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    Big hug.
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    xyes I know.But in many ways you have been braver than I.It was a terrible conflict in me when his father said after 5 years together and son was 2 and a bit that "he couldnt do it anymore"and vanished 13 miles away rarely to be seen.The village we were in collapsed in on my mind somehow and I had to leg it with him when he was 3 and a half.I thought was better to be far away rather than the constant let downs.I maintained contact for my son who ended up having counselling for his reaction to an emotionally detached father.Xmas ,kids with dads,famliys on holiday ,lonely lonely us.Felt at times like always looking in on what we both wanted ,a proper family,but never actually being in.
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    Communities were tried and reasons were that we didnt join,money,location,our dogs etc.Decisions were easier alone,except on innoculations when i needed another input, sons operations were tough with no father presence.If i had not maintained contact because i felt my son had that right,things would have been easier.Now though they seem to be getting on well.Now i resent a bit the absent father having the benefit of the beautiful son i raised alone
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    . Feels a bit like planting the seed, the toil in raising him alone all these years then some ignorant "@%.. walks up and feasts on the friut
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    .Not a spiritual reaction i know to get a bit pd off.All you can do is the best you can with what is in front of you.I also did myself in doing diy and bust a muscle moving a cast stove.He started in his new school today,of course i clucked,but off he went and i see now that he also is turned out alright.Strong and kind.Arnt we lucky to have borne them and loved them so very very much.The love of a mother...angel,tigress.saint.forever.X
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