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Thread: Has anyone here turned their life around in a big way?

  1. #1
    Turning On
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    Has anyone here turned their life around in a big way?

    Has anyone here gone from having no job, no relationship, no friends, no social life and no prospects and depression to having a happy good life? If so, how did you do it and how long did it take?
    The following users think this post is groovy: GivingItThought, Itinerant_Genius, Lightbringer, zendaze


  2. #2
    Abandon ship. Duckman's Avatar
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    13 years ago I started using more salt , switched from margarine to butter and from vegetable oil to dripping.
    After 18 years of smoking , I finally managed to sick the disgusting habit. There have been scientific studies linking low fat diets aith depression. Low blood pressure is linked to irritability.
    We all lead different lives.
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  3. #3
    Heavenly Creature Editor aman's Avatar
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    There are many ways of getting the things that you want. One way is to sit and wait for it to arrive. One day all the things will fall into your lap and you will be happy. Maybe.

    The other way is to create your world the way you want it. Don't have a job? Create one. We have been programmed to work for other people. Work hard at school, pass their little tests, go to collage and pass their tests and then go to interviews and pass their tests and you will get a good job.

    There are other ways. You don't need a good job you just need regular money coming in. Diminish your wants and you need less money coming in. Live a frugal life and you need little money coming in. Get jobs here and there and do not worry about how good they are. You job does not define you and you can treat it for what it is. A means to an end.

    Or you could create your own income. There are many ways to create your own income and I'm sure you can think of 20 ways you could make money in under 5 minutes. Become independent of the job world and be your own boss. This can be stressful but it is a different kind of stress. It is a better kind of stress. It is the kind of stress that gets you up in the morning and makes you come up with ways of making money instead of the employed kind of stress that makes you want to stay in bed as a way of not facing your day.

    Independent people tend to be happier people. Happy people tend to attract other happy people into their lives. Happy people who are surrounded by other happy people form relationships with one another. You will have friends and lovers.

    All of this might be bollocks but but I am pretty sure that the most effective way of turning around your life is to get off your ass and change it yourself. Don't wait until someone changes it for you because experience has taught me that when others change your life it never ends well. Allowing the universe to steer your life will result in entropy. You need to drive the change.

    Want to make the change today? Take inventory of your skills and assets. Write a list of all the things you could do today to make some money and a list of all the good things about yourself and report back here.

    Paul
    PⒶUL
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  4. #4
    exiled cornishman wandering gypsy's Avatar
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    was a wage slave in a previous life, went to work in a suit and tie, mortgage, 2.4 children dog.cat and goldfish,wifey was a teacher, two cars and a boat,lived in the best part of town, on paper had the best of everything. Then I had a breakdown and lost the lot. now I live in a truck, earn enough to pay my way,the only stress in my life is what to eat next meal and where do I fancy being.
    would I go back to previous life if I could ? not a cat in hells chance. For the first time in my life i,m free

  5. #5
    Peace Practitioner! Cobra's Avatar
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    I too had a well paid management job in the NHS.I didnt strive to climb the corporate ladder either.Far from it.The unit I worked in closed down(NHS)and it was either take a job within the NHS which was 30 miles away,or take the promo,in my home town.I reluctantly took the promo.I was good at my job,but I was'nt happy doing it.I quit 2 yrs ago,took a more menial job,but....I'm 100% happier.Less pay but I never cared anyway about how much money I earnt.Like someone else said,it doesnt define who you are.
    A few years ago,I was living in Australia,with my Ozzie husband,and 3 kids.After some deep thinking,and not having a happy marriage,the children and I decided to relocate,for a fresh start to the UK.All has been good so far.Huge plunge into the unknown at the time but I guess I asked myself "Whats the worse that could happen"?Sometimes you just have to take some risks in life.Some work out,some dont.but if you never do?You'll never know!
    I'm wondering though Cartman,why are you isolating yourself so much?Ok no r/ship is no biggie really,but no friends or social life?
    Watch Ben Fogle's "New lives in the Wild"for some inspiration.
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  6. #6
    Afloat ... or adrift? marshlander's Avatar
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    I was married, living in a house with a mortgage, in a good job with an excellent pension deal and earning a reasonable amount, but never able to make ends meet. After thirty years of being in a relationship that went very wrong, very early on (during the engagement in the early 70s, if I am honest - which I think I can be now), I was suicidally depressed, made redundant, abused daily and one day walked out leaving behind everything but some clothes and things I needed for work.

    I never took another employed position after redundancy in 1998, but I started to work for myself. These days, during busy weeks, I have half a day's work. In 2011 I moved on to a boat, usually moored in the back of beyond, when I lost my home of eight years after my father, for whom I was caring, died. I have had a male partner for well over a decade - even though we are separated for much of each month. I have reduced my outgoings significantly and have never been happier, healthier or ever felt richer. Do any of these changes add up to the "big way" you mentioned?

    I still experience depressive episodes, but nothing like the darkness I survived in the past. I believe I have learned how to love and how to be loved. Today the sun is shining.

    If we meet and you find me to be a grumpy old curmudgeon thank your lucky stars you didn't know me in the old days.
    Last edited by marshlander; 04-12--2016 at 02:22 PM.
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  7. #7
    Oh shit cartmen. Sounds like an impossible puzzle....because it probably is.....

    Nope.....never turned my life around in a big way and don't know anyone who has.....

    Its shit out there and whilst some find ways to adapt and ignore the material facts its very difficult to accept the compromises without a reason/dream/hope to cling to......even when you know it will probably turn to shit.

    Hanging in there is sometimes a trick of the mind.

    When everything goes to shit my trick/mantra is 'stick around....see what happens' .I'm bored out of my mind anyway and the worst that can happen is that it can get worse.......

    If you come to decide that you are gonna stick around you may as well have a crack at something society has on offer......NOT MUCH AT THE MOMENT....but if you are gonna be here may as well take a risk or two or smile, strike up a conversation with a stranger or do some pointless training etc, etc...
    Last edited by zendaze; 05-12--2016 at 03:20 AM.

  8. #8
    Heavenly Creature Editor aman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zendaze View Post
    Oh shit cartmen. Sounds like an impossible puzzle....because it probably is.....

    Nope.....never turned my life around in a big way and don't know anyone who has.....

    Its shit out there and whilst some find ways to adapt and ignore the material facts its very difficult to accept the compromises without a reason/dream/hope to cling to......even when you know it will probably turn to shit.

    Hanging in there is sometimes a trick of the mind.

    When everything goes to shit my trick/mantra is 'stick around....see what happens' .I'm bored out of my mind anyway and the worst that can happen is that it can get worse.......

    If you come to decide that you are gonna stick around you may as well have a crack at something society has on offer......NOT MUCH AT THE MOMENT....but if you are gonna be here may as well take a risk or two or smile, strike up a conversation with a stranger or do some pointless training etc, etc...
    So out of the two solutions I suggested you advocate the first one. Just sit on your ass and wait for everything you want to just fall in your lap and then feel hard done by because your life is shit.

    Is that correct?

    Paul
    PⒶUL
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  9. #9
    Walking back to happiness ma bungo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cartman View Post
    Has anyone here gone from having no job, no relationship, no friends, no social life and no prospects and depression to having a happy good life? If so, how did you do it and how long did it take?

    Yes I turned my life around , but how is not something I wish to broadcast to the world

    I hope you are just asking a curious question ,otherwise at least you appear to still have your physical health .

    Personally I do not think having a job is a big deal . You are in the UK . You will not starve.
    No relation ship? Better to be single than stuck with the wrong person ! Yes meeting the right person would be great but you need to be pro active .
    Is there not something you have an interest in or a hobby ? Join an evening class or something , then you will meet people and make friends, get yer self in a social circle . Then..who knows where that will lead .
    Depression is evil , how ever much it goes against your grain , I would see your GP . You don't have to have drugs (even though they work) they can get you reffered to counciling .

    No prospects ? Get real , no one has any prospects with this government and cunts like Trump around!

    How long does turning your world round take ? Same as lenght of string . I turned mine round pretty much overnight.

    Try and be positive , count your blessings , be proactive , kick negetivity in the arse .

    The Grasshopper , you will pull.

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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by cartman View Post
    Has anyone here gone from having no job, no relationship, no friends, no social life and no prospects and depression to having a happy good life? If so, how did you do it and how long did it take?
    I thought I had cracked the paranoia, too, but you do sound awfully like a researcher or journalist, and it's coming back, fuckit...

    oh no, the bad language too. Now I'm beginning to hate you, cartman...

    arrrrgh! my Buddha just did a bunk!!

    You have ruined my life! Can someone help me back to the happy times of five minutes ago?

  11. #11
    Walking back to happiness ma bungo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brynhyffryd View Post

    You have ruined my life! Can someone help me back to the happy times of five minutes ago?
    Yes , drink this ,and have a lie down , you will be right as rain in no time !

  12. #12
    Hmmm more articles I would guess, we are a wealth of information on UKH.

    Also I do wonder if Zendaze is married, you always seem so miserable, if you are angry at someone then look to yourself, you are wasting you time on this earth by being so angry, imagine what you could do with all that negative energy if you channelled it properly.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by dollybassett View Post
    Hmmm more articles I would guess...
    Or Mine Host gently stirring the pot, so to speak...

    come to think of it, why bother, with this bunch of crazies??

  14. #14
    Green around the gills ThreeMoons's Avatar
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    Everyone has a story. You can look to those for inspiration,or you can go and create your own.
    Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up on your dreams and ideals, wrinkles the soul.

  15. #15
    Shed Junkie alices wonderland's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dollybassett View Post
    Hmmm more articles I would guess, we are a wealth of information on UKH.

    Also I do wonder if Zendaze is married, you always seem so miserable, if you are angry at someone then look to yourself, you are wasting you time on this earth by being so angry, imagine what you could do with all that negative energy if you channelled it properly.
    The more I'm exposed to Zendaze's mind, the more I get it. He ain't no fool and he has the courage to show us all what he's found behind the mirrors. He maybe like most of us, a little lost, a little burnt out. There's a lot of truth to his vision.

    I've turned my life around, for me it wasn't/isn't hard. I think I may have to do it again real soon too. I have tons of will power, thankfully. I'm in for the long haul but I'm not into this suffering malarkey.
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  16. #16
    Yes I turned my life around 13yrs ago which has been mentioned elsewhere in the forum, nothing happened overnight.
    I have work part time jobs some I like some I don't. I have a future plan and if it works it does if not I know I will be in the position not to wonder later in life whether I should have tried it. Sometimes things gather momentum quickly other times seems like there's a wall in the way. One that is usually put there by me. Addiction of any sort can get in the way but at least these days I am aware of it and can make changes. I sometimes get depressed to but find ways through. I enjoy the simple things to each day like stopping and looking at the wildlife. Instead of rushing to anywhere I leave early so if theres something I spot on the way or want to take a random detour I can. Does Yolanda's head in sometimes but years ago I never saw the seasons, now I see the snowdrops, primroses, bluebell and all the other stuff in between. I even see the small beauty of nature in the modern concrete and industial monstrosities as well. Its ok I have not turned into a cosmic lentil for any that are worried
    Last edited by milly; 05-12--2016 at 08:00 PM. Reason: addition
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  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by alices wonderland View Post
    The more I'm exposed to Zendaze's mind, the more I get it. He ain't no fool and he has the courage to show us all what he's found behind the mirrors. He maybe like most of us, a little lost, a little burnt out. There's a lot of truth to his vision.

    I've turned my life around, for me it wasn't/isn't hard. I think I may have to do it again real soon too. I have tons of will power, thankfully. I'm in for the long haul but I'm not into this suffering malarkey.
    I get what you are saying about Zendaze, he is definitely is no fool, I believe he is a very intelligent man, everything we know is BS, but we have two choices make the best of it or just give up and moan about everything.

    You have always struck me as a strong person AW, who has worked it out.

  18. #18
    Jesus is not your friend Fire-Tree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alices wonderland View Post
    The more I'm exposed to Zendaze's mind, the more I get it. He ain't no fool and he has the courage to show us all what he's found behind the mirrors. He maybe like most of us, a little lost, a little burnt out. There's a lot of truth to his vision.

    I've turned my life around, for me it wasn't/isn't hard. I think I may have to do it again real soon too. I have tons of will power, thankfully. I'm in for the long haul but I'm not into this suffering malarkey.
    You're certainly right, he is no fool.

    A highly intelligent and caring man, he finds the truth behind the lies. Sadly, the truth is hard, and it can take the joy from 'the life we are made to believe we should live, in a non caring and suppressive land, ran by a government that wants to slowly erode any sense of self and use us as the tools for their machines'.

    I tried my best to sound like you Dan, but that was too much misery for me hahaha

    x
    Blog: Experiencing England in a car with no money

  19. #19
    Afloat ... or adrift? marshlander's Avatar
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    I'll join the zendaze fan club. We had one or two stimulating discussions at Dovedale this year.
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  20. #20
    Turning On skyraven's Avatar
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    I'm gonna make a leap and assume you're not just asking out of idle curiosity.

    First, make sure you're getting outside every day. Depression can be debilitating, and it can be pretty damn hard to leave the house... But fresh air, the play of light on the leaves, the feel of good, honest uneven ground beneath your feet... there's nothing like it for calming a racing mind or reminding you you're alive. Even a nice spot in the park, or the street outside at 4am when it's so quiet you could be the last person on earth. Just make sure you're getting out of your bubble.

    And find your special place. Forests happen to be mine, but everyone's different. Coastlines, mountains, canals, misty grasslands... if you know of a type of place that will grab you and make you say 'wow', visit it when you can. A place that makes you feel real will help you relax, and when you're relaxed you're more able to focus.

    Now work out what you want. Set an intention and take action. Don't expect changing your circumstances to be easy - you might have to chip away at it over a long time, and you've gotta be determined. Keep that goal in sight. Exactly what Paul said in his first comment but put some magic behind it if you can. Even if you don't get exactly what you want, you'll get something. That something might be even better. It might be what you need.

    (Intention can't be expected to work on its own, but it is a powerful psychic fuel for your activities. If you know exactly what you want, condense it into a sentence, into a knowing that what you intend is how it will all actually turn out, and hold that feeling in your chest. You could create a sigil for your transition - I've just started looking into sigil craft but it's a very cool way of focusing intention and throwing it out there. Google is your friend.)

    If you don't know what you want, maybe what you need is some chaos. I'm reminded of the film Yes Man, where he basically has to say yes to everything that's offered or asked of him. It gets ridiculous, but the point is that we're surrounded by opportunities all the time, and most of them either go unnoticed or are automatically turned down because they are tame or inconsequential or not what we're looking for right now. That's fine if you know what you need and you're already blazing down your TRUE PATH like a fucking samurai - at that point all those opportunities are basically spam. But if your life's missing something and you *don't* know what, maybe what you need is an adventure. Invite random elements into your life, and sooner or later you will get one.
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  21. #21
    Afloat ... or adrift? marshlander's Avatar
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    Apparently a lot of people I meet think my life is pretty exotic or bohemian or something ... or so they tell me. I'm not ready for pipe and slippers, and doubt that I ever shall be, but these days I find adventure is over-rated.

  22. #22
    Heavenly Creature Roamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cartman View Post
    Has anyone here gone from having no job, no relationship, no friends, no social life and no prospects and depression to having a happy good life? If so, how did you do it and how long did it take?
    I've got none of the above so I joined ukhippy now I'm REALLY depressed. My popularity continues to wane, I get bullied, moaned at, insulted, judged ...

    Its brilliant animated-smileys-laughing-291.gif

  23. #23
    Heavenly Creature Roamer's Avatar
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    I've just realised I've been here nearly 6 months now it can't be all that bad then.

    That's a long time for a commitment phobe! I'd better watch I don't get too comfy

  24. #24
    Non of this matters NomadicRT's Avatar
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    Dont worry about it,youre just nuts like the rest of us



    Quote Originally Posted by Roamer View Post
    I've just realised I've been here nearly 6 months now it can't be all that bad then.


    That's a long time for a commitment phobe! I'd better watch I don't get too comfy
    Last edited by NomadicRT; 07-12--2016 at 02:16 PM.
    Hebridean at heart..everywhere else is just somewhere on the way back there...

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