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Thread: Who else is out there that

  1. #25
    Musical hippy dreadhead maddy harper's Avatar
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    There is no such thing as normal
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  2. #26
    Afloat ... or adrift? marshlander's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Boaty McBoatface
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    Do you think this was a conflict between what society defined as the "norm" and what you actually are ? I note that you are from an era when society was more ignorant of sexuality.
    Yes, I am an old geezer and was born when homosexual acts between consenting men was illegal and would be for another twelve years. Even after the 1967 Act it was still frowned upon and one of my most unpleasant experiences was being set up by two pretty policemen in an entrapment situation (fortunately I had my wits about me and did not take the rather obvious bait). I also had the experience of growing up in a homophobic religious cult where homosexuals were denounced regularly from the pulpit and where parents were told that if their son found himself attracted to another man it would be better for him that a rock be tied around his neck and he be thrown into the Great Salt Lake. That sort of upbringing can have an effect and, as I was to discover during many years of counselling, it did on me. Being gay was something that was not even possible, because god told the prophet that while there were homosexual acts (that would damn your soul to hell) there was no such thing as a homosexual person.

    There were also very few obvious examples of real people that were gay unless they were also (a) criminal, (b) otherwise transgressive and/or (c ) ridiculous.

    I could explore this further and at considerable length, but you have been saved because this is maddy's thread ...
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  3. #27
    Heavenly Creature Wulfie's Avatar
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    Everyone strives to be normal which is where they fail dismally and say baaaa everysooften to keep themselves happy. Living your life to your own standard and beliefs as long as they hurt no one is normality to me. I may be scruffy but I owe no man apart from friendships and I'm happy, could be happier if my better half was still around but that's life.
    Not all who wander are lost
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  4. #28
    Heavenly Creature parrotandcrow's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cobra
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    Just out of curiosity,I'm wondering why,when I meet gay people,they introduce themselves as gay?Its not like I introduce myself and say....Oh and btw...I'm straight!
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    I have never known anyone to introduce themself and to tell me in the same breath that they are gay.

    I have known people (my sister is one) who will introduce someone and then tell me, 'confidentially' "of course he is gay/trans/whatever" which is just salacious gossip and very irritating. I have about trained her out of it, but she will still talk about someone she knows and point out that they are black. WTF is that about?

    The only folk I know who self describe when they introduce themselves though, are the ones who tell you that they are mad. Inevitably, they seem to live very boring lives to me.
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  5. #29
    Walking back to happiness ma bungo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by maddy harper
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    There is no such thing as normal
    This is very true , and I think striving to be kind and tolerant is way more important , though it is quite a challenge sometimes
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  6. #30
    Walking back to happiness ma bungo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by parrotandcrow
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    I have never known anyone to introduce themself and to tell me in the same breath that they are gay.

    I have known people (my sister is one) who will introduce someone and then tell me, 'confidentially' "of course he is gay/trans/whatever" which is just salacious gossip and very irritating. I have about trained her out of it, but she will still talk about someone she knows and point out that they are black. WTF is that about?

    The only folk I know who self describe when they introduce themselves though, are the ones who tell you that they are mad. Inevitably, they seem to live very boring lives to me.
    I have met a few Germans that say how they are so 'crazy' but it might be a translation thing? They always seem very uncrazy to me .

  7. #31
    lone wolf survivalist.
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    Originally Posted by maddy harper
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    There is no such thing as normal
    maybe not, but act differently to the majority of the population and then see how one is treated.
    " Does not suffer fools gladly!"

  8. #32
    Musical hippy dreadhead maddy harper's Avatar
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    Being blind makes it very difficult to meet people as it stands but being a blind bisexual makes me feel like an alien
    This goes back to my mother and the fact that she couldn't except that she was half black she didn't like the fact you had any black enough whatsoever so I wasn't allowed to grow up excepting that I was a quarter black and that has give me loads of complexes
    You wouldn't think it go to see my photograph my hair is more black than I am
    I came out the oven to whirly
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  9. #33
    lone wolf survivalist.
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    I came out 3 months premature.
    " Does not suffer fools gladly!"

  10. #34
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    Originally Posted by parrotandcrow
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    I have never known anyone to introduce themself and to tell me in the same breath that they are gay.

    I have known people (my sister is one) who will introduce someone and then tell me, 'confidentially' "of course he is gay/trans/whatever" which is just salacious gossip and very irritating. I have about trained her out of it, but she will still talk about someone she knows and point out that they are black. WTF is that about?

    The only folk I know who self describe when they introduce themselves though, are the ones who tell you that they are mad. Inevitably, they seem to live very boring lives to me.
    Oh?I've had that happen quite alot over the years.I almost feel like saying "And I care because?????"lol I could'nt give a toss tbh,so I'm unsure why people need to tell me.

  11. #35
    Afloat ... or adrift? marshlander's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cobra
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    Oh?I've had that happen quite alot over the years.I almost feel like saying "And I care because?????"lol I could'nt give a toss tbh,so I'm unsure why people need to tell me.
    Just tell them it's okay and it's their business not yours. You'll both know where you stand then. In all likelihood there will be a history and it may be something they need to do for themselves or it could simply be a habit they have got into.

  12. #36
    Afloat ... or adrift? marshlander's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by maddy harper
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    Being blind makes it very difficult to meet people as it stands but being a blind bisexual makes me feel like an alien ...
    maddy,

    It's not clear to me whether you are simply raising a point or are specifically looking to meet another blind person, another bisexual person or someone with both sets of qualities or neither. Perhaps you simply want to find a way of raising the chances of meeting someone who would like to get to know you better? Have you come across telephone apps for bisexual people - e.g. BiCupid for iPhone is one amongst many that cropped up on a quick search. I've not used any of these apps, so I have no idea whether any of them are useful.

    Is there a way you would like or accept help from someone on here - and that's not implying I think you need help, but it does sound a little as though you may not be too keen on feeling like an alien and people on here have been known to take care of each other.
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  13. #37
    Musical hippy dreadhead maddy harper's Avatar
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    You read my post that this thread was because I felt really alone so I wanted to reach out to other people it was the same as me
    Hope this helps
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  14. #38
    hey you only learn with experience find someone to try stuff with

  15. #39
    The truth is out there NomadicRT's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cobra
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    Just out of curiosity,I'm wondering why,when I meet gay people,they introduce themselves as gay?Its not like I introduce myself and say....Oh and btw...I'm straight!
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    It would have helped immensely in my life if men had introduced themselves as gay to me..it would have eradicated all of the tedious guesswork and supposition on my part....no man has ever introduced himself and added the gay descriptor of themselves nor have i ever....My friend though has a rather tedious obsession with introducing me as 'her gay friend' like im the token gay accessory in her life and when we're out together constantly nudging me and asking 'is he gay do you think'...to which i usually answer 'why dont you go fucking ask him' ...what is about people and sexuality that they suddenly lose all intelligent reasoning when the matter crops up.
    Hebridean at heart..everywhere else is just somewhere on the way back there...
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  16. #40
    The truth is out there NomadicRT's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by parrotandcrow
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    I have never known anyone to introduce themself and to tell me in the same breath that they are gay.

    I have known people (my sister is one) who will introduce someone and then tell me, 'confidentially' "of course he is gay/trans/whatever" which is just salacious gossip and very irritating. I have about trained her out of it, but she will still talk about someone she knows and point out that they are black. WTF is that about?

    The only folk I know who self describe when they introduce themselves though, are the ones who tell you that they are mad. Inevitably, they seem to live very boring lives to me.
    I totally agree it is the salacious gossip element that appears to grip a lot of people....usually it comes from people whove lived very tedious sheltered lives and experienced no different culture but their own very parochial local one but when they encounter someone 'different' they suddenly become the font of all knowkedge on gay /black/whatever culture and must tell everyone they have a gay/black/ whatever friend so theyre a real man/woman of the world....and not really actually an ignorant boring twonk from Boring St, Boringsville.
    Hebridean at heart..everywhere else is just somewhere on the way back there...
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  17. #41
    Heavenly Creature Wulfie's Avatar
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    Only ever had the 'we're gay' bit from a couple of lovely friends, now RIP, who on first meeting them, words were said to that effect as I was introduced to his partner. They both looked like the biker from Village People, and were slightly camp with it and didn't care what peeps thought. They were a great couple.
    Not all who wander are lost

  18. #42
    Transcending
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    Originally Posted by maddy harper
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    You read my post that this thread was because I felt really alone so I wanted to reach out to other people it was the same as me
    Hope this helps
    Nobody will ever be exactly the same as you, because we are all made up of varying amounts of different "ingredients". Some hetero, some homo, some bi, all mixed up together. When you mix in all the other human qualities as well you get an almost infinite amount of variations - and that's what makes people so interesting.

  19. #43
    Musical hippy dreadhead maddy harper's Avatar
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    That's a very true point sweetie

  20. #44
    One life, live it
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    What ever you want to be you can, its your life and you can only be true to your own feelings. Don't pigeon hole yourself into accepting labels applied by other people or think it matters. Avoid labels and you avoid the problems that come with them.

    Other people's problems are not your problems. Be happy.
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  21. #45
    Heavenly Creature Levey's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by marshlander
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    Yes, I am an old geezer and was born when homosexual acts between consenting men was illegal and would be for another twelve years. Even after the 1967 Act it was still frowned upon and one of my most unpleasant experiences was being set up by two pretty policemen in an entrapment situation (fortunately I had my wits about me and did not take the rather obvious bait). I also had the experience of growing up in a homophobic religious cult where homosexuals were denounced regularly from the pulpit and where parents were told that if their son found himself attracted to another man it would be better for him that a rock be tied around his neck and he be thrown into the Great Salt Lake. That sort of upbringing can have an effect and, as I was to discover during many years of counselling, it did on me. Being gay was something that was not even possible, because god told the prophet that while there were homosexual acts (that would damn your soul to hell) there was no such thing as a homosexual person.

    There were also very few obvious examples of real people that were gay unless they were also (a) criminal, (b) otherwise transgressive and/or (c ) ridiculous.

    I could explore this further and at considerable length, but you have been saved because this is maddy's thread ...
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    I had the pleasure of growing up with a gay couple next door to where we lived , The stories they would tell ... but pre 1967 they were young men and the adored the gay underground movement , they missed the excitement and adventure of the most simple things like going out for a drink , They always stated it was a secret society within a society & when being gay was lawful they had to contend with "Plastic Gays" , Men playing a camp role out of office hours , Bless them I miss them both

  22. #46
    Musical hippy dreadhead maddy harper's Avatar
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    Oh bless you

  23. #47
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    I know I'm definitely not gay or bi but have friends that are, they are friends because they dont feel they can only have gay friends, I have met some that are like, your not gay, we'll tolerate your existence because your friends with such n such.

    I find a lot of full of camp-o- nista's can be quite cliquey. I do struggle to be around with the really camp flamboyant folk that are full on and in your face and very loud with it.

    What got my goat on occasions when out for a night and there has been gay friends along, so in salute to their tastes and choices of pub etc, of course we've popped into the local gay bar, after all they been where we was, but why the f in ell is it, just because I am stood in a gay bar with said friends, it doesnt give another gay man who isnt known to us to grab my butt cheeks, wanted to put a notice on my back to not do that, but that would be rude, I dont appreciate someones automatic presumptions that that is acceptable, not done to me by a man anyway.

    Another friend of mine who is gay, got dumped by a partner, he wanted a male partner but what ended it was he didnt want his bum hole penetrated and his partner wanted to do just that, doesnt make him any less gay I am sure, and thats his perogative to not want to do that. I think if I was gay and wanted a male partner, I'd draw the line at that one.

  24. #48
    Meow rhythm's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by maddy harper
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    There is no such thing as normal
    I often wonder how the obsession people have with being 'normal', affects their mental health. I reckon it counts for a lot of mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. My motto, Fuck being 'normal', just be yourself
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    Form is nothingness and nothingness is form.

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